The chav is much like a wild beast. The chav is commonly found in packs hunting on the open plains of the council estate. Their main source of food is found at the local McDonalds, where a Big Mac and fries will see them tamed for over 20 minutes.
The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.
Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.
Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.
The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.
The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?
The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives.
The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.
The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.
The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.
The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.
Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.
Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.
The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.
The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?
The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives.
The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.
The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.
The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.
The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
Jordan, A.K.A Katie Price - The ultimate chavette; Big titted minger with a fake orange tan.
Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.
Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.
There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.
Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.
There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
by ConcreteMonkey February 3, 2005
A bunch of white kids who think they are hardcore gangsters from the ghettos and listen to "phat beats" such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, which they think is gangster music, when it is no more than pop music with annoying "raps" and "beats". They are usually popular at school and go around acting "propa hard" beating up and pushing around anyone that's not popular or a chav like them. They also like to call anyone that likes rock music a "goff" "mosha" or "grunga". Avoid these mindless fuckwits at any chance you can.
See wigger
See wigger
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by Blahb May 3, 2005
Chavs (Chavies, Kegs, Charva, Ned, Mush, Scally etc) are the (unfortunatly) most common sub culture of modern day Britain. The chav or "Council house and violent" or "Council House Average Vermin" are vicious to any other sub culture (or a person that is of no sub culture at all) to an extreme extent. "Moshers, emos, grungers and greebs" are some of their more favourite targets. They resort to violence at the first sign of when they belive they are being threatened or when the simply do not understand something (basically....they are stupid beyond all reason). The only way to avoid a confrontation with a chav is to simply not start one, if you provoke "it", "it" will retaliate with extreme force (aka until ure "beefed"). Over all chavs are very dangerous and the only way to fully avoid, or keep the peace with them is to prevent contact completly or if u have the unfortunate experience of meeting a chav, be as simple (using as many small words as possible) and vaguely polite as you can.
by Miss Edith November 3, 2006
Derived from Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, in full means Cheltenham Average. These sub-human runts have the burberry caps and addidas trousers tucked into red rebok socks.
But the worst thing about the Chav is that they have genitalia thus being allowed to procreate and birth new little runtish chav's. Soon like a cancer they will spread and take over the whole of England.
Too prevent prehaps we should ban fox hunting and leagalize chav hunting.
But the worst thing about the Chav is that they have genitalia thus being allowed to procreate and birth new little runtish chav's. Soon like a cancer they will spread and take over the whole of England.
Too prevent prehaps we should ban fox hunting and leagalize chav hunting.
man, dude, homie, mate. All of which are acceptable, but the are said in there own little accent of which no one can hope to understand unless born into a chav household.
by Nick O'Hodrahn January 26, 2004
From the French ‘Chave Act’ of 1217AD. In direct response to the Holy Roman Empire’s policy of over breeding among the evolutionary challenged (See ‘Missing Link), the 3 economic superpowers of Europe, (Germany, France and Britain) signed the ‘Act’ in an attempt to maintain ‘Pikey’ numbers within their states at a manageable level.
The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.
However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.
The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.
However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.
The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
by Lord Palmerston January 13, 2004
Billy: "I got the chavs real bad, man."
Eric: "Just hit them with the shampoo."
Darren: "He's got a dose of the chavs."
Kevin: "Ooooh, he'll be itchy for weeks."
"Baby, I'm sorry, but I gave you chavs."
Eric: "Just hit them with the shampoo."
Darren: "He's got a dose of the chavs."
Kevin: "Ooooh, he'll be itchy for weeks."
"Baby, I'm sorry, but I gave you chavs."
by OminousIncendia(ry) June 16, 2009
in old terms a 'yob' or a 'thug'. a perosn with no educational backroundround whatsoever. and who play music on the bus really louldy.
lifespan of a chav:
mugging people from the age of seven
first fag ten
first ever asbo twelve
first ever child thirteen upwards
chavs love to over populate the world even more by breeding from the age of thirteen
lifespan of a chav:
mugging people from the age of seven
first fag ten
first ever asbo twelve
first ever child thirteen upwards
chavs love to over populate the world even more by breeding from the age of thirteen
a chav is someone who does not have good taste in music and only likes bass line remixs and would not be able to give an example of a good song if their life depended on it
by loveemostheyrenicepeople January 18, 2010