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99.
Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!

Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.

Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 01, 2006
 
43.
How to turn urself into a chav:

1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.

2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....

3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.

4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).

5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.

6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.

Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
by Emma............chav killa February 19, 2004
 
44.
chavs, chivvies, charvers, townies, scroats, dill holes, kevs, neds, scallies, wankers, pikies, hardos, jippos
I guess they're just dirty, loud, ugly, stupid arseholes that threaten, fight, cause trouble, impregnate 14 year olds, ask for money, ask for fags, try and sell stolen phones, steal your phones, wear crap sports wear, drink cheap cider and generally spread their hate.

all chavs are scum and shoul be beaten with sticks and/or killed and wiped of the surface of the earth
by chav h8a 2005 September 17, 2005
 
45.
These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked chav who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other chavs will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some chavs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
by Peter Adams December 18, 2004
 
46.
A lower order of the ape family, living in colonies of anywhere above 2. Can be seen at dusk moving towards a McDonalds or similar. Often spotted marking territory on playgrounds or confronting members of the public in search of the resources to create fire. Favourite pastimes include:
-Using a mobile to record anything more illegal than kicking a lamp post
-Searching for "beef"
-Claiming that a member of the public "called their mum"
-Claiming that a member of the public "looked at them"
-Applying a burberry pattern wherever possible
-Smoking anything intoxicating, up to and including anthorax
-Drinking anything intoxicating, up to and including petrol
-Inhaling anything intoxicating, up to and including napalm
-Impregnating the female of the species - the chavette, who are only suitable for fertilising up to the age of 16

Primate ----> Homo Chavien ----> Homo Sapien
by themuseicman May 04, 2006
 
47.
Chav: a type of person who lacks the intelligence to be able to speak or write proper english, uses words, if they are proper words such as 'blingin', 'mingin' etc
You will normally find them outside McDonalds. Their favourite hobbies: picking on anybody who has a brain, having underage sex with no protection, getting drunk, starting a fight with some random person who has done nothing to them except say "hi".
A chav can be quite easily be identified by their clothing. A Burberry (from the local market- 99p, a bargain!) cap, a Nickelson t shirt, and a Schott hoodie, with adidas tracksuit bottoms rolled into their white nike socks and wearing nike trainers. Female chavs tend to have their hair in a tight bun or ponytail witht the help of several cans of hairspray, their face will be painted in cheap makeup; layer and layers of cheap foundation, mascara and eyeliner. Chavs enjoy showing off their "bling". "Bling" often looks like chocolate coins & is costs £1.99 from Argos. It often appears in the form of over-sized, fake-gold hoop earrings. Favourite jobs of chavs: drug dealer, McDonalds worker, prostitute, page 3 'model'. Chavs are also known as: 'scum', 'idiots' and any other insult there is on this earth.
You can tell if someone is a chav or not mostly by their attitude. They think that anyone who doesn't listen to "their" music is a grunger. They think that Burberry is the height of fashion & they look down on anyone who isn't exactly like them. How to humiliate a chav: ask them to recite the alphabet.
by MJ February 14, 2005
 
48.
The origins of the word are the mid-19th century Romany word chavi, meaning "delinquent male youth". It is sometimes defined as "male youth" but that is in fact inaccurate as the word is intend to carry a negative meaning much as calling a young child a "brat" in English.

The first known recorded history of the words usage comes from a story written in London citing trouble with young people distrubing graves in the London area simply as a means of disrepect. The story was based on an issue brought to light by the Church of England.

History: A local London church (who had the position of owning the a graveyard at that time)had informed the Church of England calling upon its huge power and influence to resolve an issue of local youths disrupting its graveyard. When the church questioned locals it was revealed by local immigrants that the problems came from young Romany which they called "chavi". The immigrants claimed the incidents had no evil motives are were just an example of badly behaved youths playing a prank.

The word enjoyed a period of widespread use around the time but then disappeared from mainstream until around 1988 when a major new service ran a story citing a similiar incident. The source of the story is unknown but it is known to have used the word "Chavi" because a court case followed due to the enthic orgin of the word and the way it was used in the story. The story was again about an issue in London and the paper first ran there.

There have been many claims that the word came from Scotland or the Northern areas of England but these claims are in fact false and show a lack of knowledge of the etymology of the word. Another untrue claim of the word is the spelling should be "charv" with the explanation being that the word comes from "charver". In fact this is incorrect as the word "charver" roughly translates to a "prositute or someone who sacrifices their bodies to gain wealth" and the words popularity is directly related to a sub-culture in Britain where as the members generally do not work (ruling out charver completely) and are social deviates.

Probably the most accurate definition of a Chav would be: members of the lower class; uneducated and ignorant people with little regard of the legal system or without respect for the society inwhich they live.
Everywhere you look Britian is full of chav scum.
by claymuir September 28, 2005
 
49.
Chav - Council House and Violent!
The chav is a horrible, lower form of humanity who think wearing "old ladies" burberry car rugs fashioned into anything from caps to pants is cool.
by Spunky Monkey August 09, 2007