Carpeter

A tradesperson (man or woman) who, to the exclusion of all other sexual activitiies, only eats puss

Mary desperately wanted cock, so was bitterly disappointed to find Johnny was a qualified carpeter.
or

Alice hated cock. She was a qualified carpeter.

by Haids December 8, 2012

Carpet python

The dick of a couch.

Look, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum here if you’re all wild about carpet pythons, I just wanna sit.

by Skyfire1228 June 15, 2018

carpet munchies

A heightened desire to perform cunnilingus following inhalation or ingestion of delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, the psychoactive compound in cannabis sativa.

Colloquially: really wanting to "eat pussy" after smoking marijuana.

Man, I was watching a movie with my girl the other night and after my second or third bong rip I really got the carpet munchies... dog I went down on her for like an hour!

by DJ Silky Nick November 3, 2011

Carpet Blowout

A phrase allegorious to the term "sausage-fest", only refering to women.

"Hey Becky, want to split this joint? It is such a Carpet Blowout in here"

by Sivart Ferguson February 10, 2010

carpet Picasso

A lighthearted nickname for your new and untrained puppy.

Let’s put our talented little carpet Picasso in his kennel while we’re out for a little while!

by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

carpet surfing

its the act by which someone if surfing the carpet looking for bits of crack that might have droped on the floor after a rough night.

crack heads go carpet surfing when they are fiending for more drugs.

by kareemo February 1, 2006

carpet mopping

The act of performing cunnilingus on a very well lubricated female.

Erica was so hot and bothered last night that I had to give her a good carpet mopping

by the J-rod March 16, 2008