1. a person who is overly self-righteous that they don't reside in America
2. a person who has excessive pride in something, i.e. a country, without any basis for that pride
3. a person who seems to get a lot of satisfaction from the blunders its southern neighbor makes; so in other words, a smug prig who is smug not because they do anything right or take any action and initiative in the international arena, but because they don't do anything wrong; i.e., they don't do anything period
4. a person that takes excessive pride in their peacefulness and healthcare and other domestic politicies; which is fine, but shouldn't be a point of bragging, because the only reason you have the domestic budget for those policies is because you have a junior military, something along the lines of an adventure camp; and the reason is because canadians rely completely on the U.S. armed forces and negating the need for their own, meaning they have a lot of money then to spend on social programs
5. a person who touts their nation's healthcare and low-crime rate to the point of moral superiority; that makes no sense considering the population of their country is a fraction the size of the U.S.; the only major steady flow of immigration comes from East Asia, esp. Taiwan, which is a hard-working and prosperous ethnic group where crime is almost non-existent; and also, the easiest way for an Asian to get Canadia citizenship is to prove to the Candadian government they have $1,000,000 in savings and assets; when that's the case, the immigrants have enough money to be taxed to support the canadian institutions, while American immigrants from Mexico are totally impoverished, so for them to get healthcare is to take from the U.S. government and give very little financially in return; crime in Canadian ghettos is very similar to American ghettos; if Canada had the quantity of ghettos as America does, the crime would be the same
6. a loser that trots around Asia because he can't get play from any of the good looking girls back home
7. slightly more evolved than an American redneck
8. a person with a questionable amount of nose hair growth
9. a person who thumbs his/her nose at American beer; which is easy to do when the American beer is one of the light beer giants--miller, bud, coors; but Yuengling, Sierra Nevada, and Sam Adams shit all over Molson
10. a person that says "oh yeah, Jim Carey's from Canada, so's Mike Myers"; first, Jim Carey is a has-been; second, these people live in America and Jim Carey actually got an American citizenship; but when it comes down to it, America would rather give ten million Mexicans citizenship and total welfare than allow Celine Dion sing one more song on American radiowaves
11. a person who idolizes American tv shows like the Simpsons and Seinfeld, who is completely soaked in American culture, who listens to all our hip hop and every other genre of music, watches all our movies with zeal, who in all matter of speaking is American, but talks trash on America all the same and inexplicably feels a sense of righteousness just because they are not actually an American citizen but in every other sense they are filled to the brim with American-ness; and they do this because they feel America doesn't respect them
12. A person who wishes they were American
"our country is beautiful, but we as a people suck enourmously; we offer little to music, film, art, and culture; even Quebec, the proletariats of the French Speaking world, don't want to be associated with us; the only Americans we like our hippie do-nothings pot-smokers who talk about alternative realities and dress in incredibly ugly clothes and have gapped teeth, just like us; I hate America because I'm not American, because American girls are a whole species higher in hotness and therefore I can only stare with longing; i better go to Asia because that's my best chance at a decent looking girl; Bush is a war criminal and every American is guilty by association; if I'm from Toronto I'm actually racist myself and call blacks "N#$#$rs", and I accuse Bush and America of hypocrisy when that alone makes me more of a hypocrite than I always was--I'm Canadian"
by Ken McCauley May 16, 2007
Canadian- A group of people who cannot refrain themselves from using the word “eh” after every word. Side effects from hearing Canadians include getting wasted, constant vomiting, Excessive drug use, loss of consciousness, depression, and or thoughts of suicide. Do not go to Canada if you have any of these pre-existing side effects. Results of entering Canada with pre-existing side effects include High blood pressure, lost body parts, sudden urge to play hockey, to spell words wrong, and in some cases death. Take all measures to avoid Canadians if you have already experienced confrontation with them. See your local doctor for further questions
Patient: Doctor am I going to be alright?

Doctor: I am afraid you have been to exposed one too many times to Canadians. I am sorry to inform you that you will only live 24 more hours.
by WEAREMERICA July 03, 2012
Those who link their arms together and trek across great lands of sweets, joy, and joyness to the lands of the great beyond(that would be Canada) to get watermelon.
Apples suck -- Real Canadians eat watermelon!
by Lalalalalala I'm Katie October 02, 2006
A person who unknowingly hates themselves for being a citizen of an inferior country. This self hate is brought on by a disease called iwishiwuzamericandis. Causes of this disease are unknown but have been linked to shitty cold weather, piss labeled as beer, failure to master one's "own" sport (Bruins?), lack of culture and awkward social cues. Experts say the only thing good coming from America's nerdy little redheaded stepbrother is high grade marijuana. It's speculated, though, that the US will be better at that in just a couple years. Side effects include trying to be American but in a very sissy way.
Canadian at Canadian bar:

Ooh, I hate those Americans, with their low taxes and awesome weather and theme parks and Miley Cyrus. I love maple syrup.

Mexican at Canadian bar: Are you kidding?
(mumbles) God shit twice and there was Canada.

Canadian at Canadian bar: What'd you say?

Mexican at Canadian bar: Oh, um. Gosh it's nice, here's to Canada.
by Swampdonkey97 June 28, 2011
Hocky playing, beer drinking, syrup loving, bacon eating, french speaking, funny talking people who live in igloos.
"Whats this all aboot, eh?"

"Blah bleh blue"(french)

"So your racist agenst Canadians, eh?"
"No, Canadian isnt a race, you just talk funny."
by sushiman09 September 25, 2005
Most people who exist in "Canada" are not actually Canadian. They are either first or second generation emigrants from backward countries like India, China, or France. Also, this portion of Canadians also includes the Canadian Nouveau Riche, a boom created by the growth of the Canadian dollar due to suspect government policy. In either case, they share many of the same characteristics.

1. A complete blindness to the existence of any human existence, need, emotion, or being outside of their own.
2. A massive desire to litter foreign countries.
3. A desire to smoke all the worlds pot.
4. They are drunk. Always. Even Tim Hortons coffee makes them drunk beyond the legal driving limit.
5. A fascination with all apparel made of denim.
6. Inability to procreate.
7. They think "Ed Hardy" apparel is actually fashionable.
8. Inability to operate a motor vehicle in way that is predictable to drivers around them.
9. Pathological desire to cheat their government out of the taxes due to them when the shop outside of their own country. This desire is so strong they will even attempt to enlist the help of residents of another country in their crime, in spite of the peril this may put that person in.
10. The men dress like women.
11. The women dress like they're from New Jersey (a highly uncouth part of the United State of America)
12. The children do not have parents; instead they have government assigned adoptive "buddies"
Example 1 -

Citizen 1: Hey...do you think they're Canadian?
Citizen 2: Umm...they're dressed in Ed Hardy, they just tossed all their trash out the window of the car, and they ran over a nun because they missed their turn to get back home. Yeah...pretty sure they're Canadian.

Example 2 -

Citizen 1: I met a Canadian the other day.
Citizen 2: Yeah? Was he nice?
Citizen 1: Yes. But...he wore tight slacks, and his white belt matched his white shoes. Then, he invited me to "have a smoke" and fly to the Jamaica with him. Seemed nice until he tried to touch my junk...
Citizen 2: Yeah...they're always nice until they try to fuck you.
by Ceningolmo December 23, 2010
Being Canadian is like renting the loft apartment above a really great party, a.k.a. America
Man that looks like fun, too bad we're canadians
by Doogie,theoneandonly February 04, 2011
An amoeba-like individual originating from the "room above the party," otherwise known as canada. Has tendencies of speaking misinformation, quoting outdated statistics, and often voices anti-American sentiments. Usually ends sentences with the word, "eh," even when making a simple statement as brain power is quite limited. Occasionally tries hard to differentiate itself from an American due to having a weak identity, suffering from mild retardation. These prideful, boastful, passive-aggressive life forms are often found blogging or spreading propaganda throughout the world to demonstrate the wonders of canada (also often referred to as canadia or canaDUH). These life forms come in many shapes and sizes, but generally have roundish bodies accompanied by short, sausage-like appendages and incredibly ugly faces. Suffering from hypocritical tendencies, it rarely is taken seriously in the context of others.
Look! Did you see that canadian? It is so ugly and dumb it looks like it sat its face on fire and tried to put it out with an axe!
by America will Beat YOUR ASS! August 03, 2010

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