The original
Chuck Norris. Chesty was the most
badass man alive matched only by his spiritual clone, Richard Marcinko. Chesty won, among dozens of other awards,
5 Navy Crosses but the story doesn't end there. The following statements are true:
Chesty fought off an entire North Korean
tank battalion single-handedly with only an M1911. He destroyed 8 tanks with its 7 bullets before taking out the rest with his bare hands.
Congress had a plan to win the Vietnam
War by sending Chesty Puller alone to conquer the country, but abandoned this course of action when they determined him to be a force of nature more powerful than large-scale nuclear weapons.
The nearly-impenetrable armor on modern tanks is synthesized from Chesty's DNA mixed with aluminum. They had to mix it because pure Chesty armor was deemed illegal under the Geneva Convention because it would have accelerated an arms race the world has never seen before.
