Beached Whale

A really fat chick stranded outside a bar after closing time looking for a guy to take them home.

Ryan, I thought you were gonna rescue that beached whale last night.

by Anonymous Motrin May 30, 2009

Beached whale

A term for someone whos been boozed up

Damn, Julio really drank too much. He looks like a beached whale

by Ncg13 April 16, 2017

beached whale

similar to awkward turtle, denoting the occurance of an awkward situation.

the beached whale is performed by placing one hand on top of the other, face up, and thumbs rotating.

JB walked into a room full of naked hispanic men, all playing the flute while whipping each other with palm leaves.

To alleviate the awkward situation, JB starts to freestyle rap. This makes the entire situation even more awkward, and the naked hispanic men all begin to do the beached whale.

by HitStick93 April 6, 2010

Beached Whale

A beached whale is a piece of poop so large that it leaves the water of the toilet. This usually leaves a mark as well because the poop touches directly onto the dry part of the toilet. It can often be bragged about between guys. However, girls will not be impressed by the feat of a beached whale and will most likely result in her not wanting to have sex with you.

Guy 1: Dude, I left I huge beached whale in the toilet yesterday. It was like the third one of my whole life.

Guy 2: Awesome, you should have taken a picture.

Guy: Hey, I have a picture of the beached whale I left in the toilet yesterday. Do you want to see it?

Girl: Ew, you're disgusting. I will never have sex with you.

by tehsheriff May 26, 2009

beached whale

a female, whose body closely resembles that of a beached sperm whale.

i can't believe you slept with that beached whale. i.e. Leah

by luke detty February 20, 2005

The Beached Whale

The commonly seen attempt of topping out on your climbing route. Involves laying on your stomach while flailing your arms and legs. Often unsuccessful. To see this phenomynon just take a trip up to your local climbing craigs, sit back, and wait. You won't miss it!

Bystander 1: Hey. Look! What's that guy doing ontop of that rock?

Bystander 2: Aw man, he's tryin' the beached whale! It's not gonna work!

by BestClimbersYou'llEverNotMeet May 29, 2010

Beach Whale

The act of lying sprawled-out and helplessly on one's back after ingesting so much food, the fullness is almost unbearable.

After spending two hours at the local all-you-can-eat buffet, Billy says to Bobby,
"I don't think I can walk out of this place; I'm going to have to beach whale it here for a while."

by FatF***s March 15, 2012