Top Definition
When you take a dump while sitting on the toilet backwards so that your fecal matter ends up on the dry part of the toilet and not in the water.
Last time I used Gabe's bathroom I left a gnarly beached whale.
by wigwam69 September 09, 2006

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A turd so big it comes out of the water in the shitty 1.6 gallon low flow toilet.
Following the big Mexican dinner, Jim put a Beached Whale in the toilet.

or

The stench of Jim's Beached Whale rose from the toilet bowl.
by The Dutch Auto Man November 09, 2007

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An individual who is confined to their bed due to their morbid obesity; one who wallows in their own excrements.
"Whoa! look at that beached whale"
by ricemond December 06, 2003

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When fecal matter in a toilet is only partly submerged in water and partially lay on the dry porcelain of the toilet bowl.
"Shit. Look at that beached whale! Sorry brown buddy, I didn't mean to let you perish like that."
by Jerome Jenkins April 29, 2006

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similar to awkward turtle, denoting the occurance of an awkward situation.

the beached whale is performed by placing one hand on top of the other, face up, and thumbs rotating.
JB walked into a room full of naked hispanic men, all playing the flute while whipping each other with palm leaves.

To alleviate the awkward situation, JB starts to freestyle rap. This makes the entire situation even more awkward, and the naked hispanic men all begin to do the beached whale.
by HitStick93 April 06, 2010

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A really fat chick stranded outside a bar after closing time looking for a guy to take them home.
Ryan, I thought you were gonna rescue that beached whale last night.
by Anonymous Motrin May 30, 2009

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a female, whose body closely resembles that of a beached sperm whale.
i can't believe you slept with that beached whale. i.e. Leah
by luke detty February 20, 2005

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