Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused

Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”

Preposterous boast, but alas by Fresh Timbs October 29, 2018

boastagram 

those offensive,gag inducing and "unreadable" seasonal letters sent out to tell the world how great you and your family are doing

Unfortunately, every Christmas my uncle sends us a boastagram with the latest on his kid's successes

boastagram by sheila in the car October 31, 2008

coal boasting 

When a white woman brags to her friends about sleeping with dark skinned black men.

I overheard Donna coal boasting to Kelly about her hookup with the son of the Djibouti Ambassador.

coal boasting by zcl July 28, 2006

boasty 

An adjective for a person with a tendancy to boast (brag) about themselves, sometimes taking it too far.

it could define someone who is cocky, egotistical, conceited, and or self absorbed.

--I thought of this in the car on feb. 15, 2008 when my friend said she was overqualified for a job

"She's not my type...she's too boasty."

boasty by soon.HK February 23, 2008

boastin 

Vaunting, Bragging; To Show Off

Man I don't know why he was boastin acting like he get money.

boastin by Mz. Beneficial November 15, 2007

A Queer Boast But Alas 

An archaic form of Weird Flex but OK used by medieval crusaders and bishops up through the 14th century

Count Michael of Winsuxershire-Upon-Hill the 3rd: Ho! Behold all thoust who are present! I have baked AT LEAST 16 crows into my pie!
Cardinal Willy of Piedmont: *medieval chuckle* lol, you put birds in your desserts instead of goat urine? A queer boast but alas!

A Queer Boast But Alas by xX_Chromosones_Xx December 2, 2018

boastwriter 

An agent hired to sing one's praises to potential clients or employers.

#1: "This woman describes herself as a brilliant, innovative photojournalist in her job application. Can you imagine anyone being that full of herself?"

#2: "Of course not, really foolish of her: She should have hired a boastwriter to sing her praises in the third person, like most well-known people do."

boastwriter by mynah1 February 20, 2010