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Asspurse 

1. A back-pocket 2. Another word for a fanny-pack 3. An insult...one of those kind of funny ones that no-one can really get mad at. Basically we here, reserve this insult for Kent Smith. To call some one an ass-purse, they must be worse then a shit-bag.
"Hey, your wallet was stolen out of your ass purse"

"That ass-purse makes you look like such a tourist"

"Kent Smith is such an asspurse"
"You're no shit-bag, you're an asspurse"
"Not even Napoleon Dynamite or Mariah Carey are good enough to be called ass-purses."

asspurgers syndrome 

A terrible affliction that drives one imediately to the throne with an urgent need to expel a toxic river of brown filth from one's derriere.
Last night's curry destroyed my guts. Bad case of asspurgers syndrome this morning. Should have put the bog roll in the fridge last night. Gnarly.
asspurgers syndrome by banoslibre September 7, 2014

assperience 

A noun denoting the amount of ass that one has recieved in one's lifetime.
Man, that jock has an unbelievable amount of assperience. He's done it with the whole cheerleading team.
assperience by Assperience December 18, 2009

asspreneur 

A young female who wants to succeed in the business world by exposing her ass across social media platforms.
- Jennifer posted 5 photos of her ass today, did you see them all dude!?
- Yeah, she is going places man, such an asspreneur. I admire her.
asspreneur by tolgaonuk February 27, 2018

Asspurtunity 

Yo dude let's hit up that party this weekend there will be a lot of slutty chicks there. It'll be a sick asspurtunity. Hopefully I'll get my weiner and/or vaj touched.
Asspurtunity by eneman182 December 3, 2011
Like every pun with ass, this is a good one. Assparent is a transparent or apparent ass showing. Can also be used figuratively, in someone being barely disguised as an asshole. Or a bad parent.
They're featuring a new line of assparent evening dresses.
He is very assparent.
Assparent Plumbing Ltd.
Assparent by felixh November 13, 2016