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Anaclitic Therapy 

Quite possibly one of the most bizarre forms of psychotherapy, anaclitic therapy was used to treat people (mostly adult men) with mommy or daddy issues. It involves a (typically female) therapist drugging the client with LSD, and once fully intoxicated, the client is encouraged to crawl between the legs of the therapist. This is to symbolize the rebirth of the person. The therapist would then tell the patient to sit on her lap and gently rock him, all while feeding him warm milk from a baby bottle. And remember, the client is tripping balls throughout this entire process. To this day, no one knows if those clients actually benefited from anaclitic therapy.
Todd is a grown up man in his early 30s who is still suffering from mommy issues from his childhood. After hearing his friend talk about a rare form of therapy (Anaclitic Therapy) and how it might help him with his troubled past, he was determined to find such a therapist. Completely unaware of the freakishness that was about to happen, Todd decided to schedule an appointment with this anaclitic therapist who resided in the countryside. After one therapy session, Todd came out and never looked at life the same again.
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An affliction caused by poor hygiene, where the anal and rectal areas become inflamed and itchy.
" I forgot to whipe my ass after shitting today, now I have the analitch. Nothing worse than going to itch something and getting shit under your fingernails."
analitch by Nutzen YerMouf March 15, 2018

scrotal analitis 

Is a genetic condition in which the jungle bridge is reversed, resulting in the scrotum being attached to the "Brown eye" and not the penis.
Jane- Did you hear John was born with scrotal analitis?
Tom- Yeah, we're not friends anymore, what a loser.
scrotal analitis by NitmanRadio August 14, 2017

analytical chemistry 

1.) n. The bastard child of statistics and general chemistry
2.) v. It is used to express poor performance in the afforementioned subject.
1.) I am sick of standard deviations and errors, I hate analytical chemistry.

2.) Person 1: How was the exam last night.
Person 2: It was Analytical Chemistry.
Person 1: Ouch... sorry to hear that.
analytical chemistry by Skeez Adams September 19, 2008

Analytics 

The simplest definition of Analytics is "the science of analysis". In reality, the word "Analytics" has not been properly defined by the professional community and may mean different things to different people. A simple and practical definition, however, would be how an entity(i.e., business) arrives at the most optimal or realistic decision from a variety of available options, based on existing data. Business managers may choose to make decisions based on past experiences or rule of thumb, or there might be other qualitative aspects to decision making; but unless there is data involved in the process, it would be considered beyond the purview of analytics. Another definition could be that Analytics is a field of study / profession that has applications in any field (business / social / political / home) where data is available.
Common applications of Analytics include the study of business data using statistical analysis in order to discover and understand historical patterns with an eye to predicting and improving business performance in the future.
Analytics by David Gould March 6, 2008

analytical chemistry 

A terrifying and disgusting combination of statistics and chemistry that will crush your social/sex life into nothingness. This is assuming, however, that said person had one before this class.
person1: Hey bro! last night was crazy! what did you end up doing?

person2: Oh, not much you know... sat at home and wanked it till the wee hours of the morning!

person1: Woah, why?

person2: Analytical chemistry took it to me bro.

analistic 

"Every time my ex talks to me, it's so 'analistic'."
analistic by Poogasm January 24, 2016