Alzheimer's

A disease most commonly found in the older generation of people causing them to lose pre-existing memories and have trouble making new ones. More serious cases can lead to difficulty with language, disorientation, mood swings, etc.

Lil' Jimmy: "Mama, why doesn't Grandpa remember me?"
Mama: "He's got Alzheimer's, Honey, he won't remember you."
Lil' Jimmy: "Oh... Will Grandma get Old-Timer's too then?"

Alzheimer's by CharlesJJJ November 3, 2016

Alzheimer's

Another nasty dementia that robs your loved ones of their own mind and makes you grieve them while they are still physically alive. There's much medical work being done to find a cure because it is going to hit alot of boomers hard in the next few years the same way it hit their parents hard.

Doctor: Your Mom's in the early stages of Alzheimer'.

Me: What is Alzheimer's?
Doctor: Alzheimer's is a form of dementia that destroys memories

Alzheimer's by Five year old drinking coffee June 12, 2020

Chess Alzheimer's 

When you're playing chess and you take so long thinking about what move you're going to make that you end up making an idiotic move you spotted in the first 5 seconds but forgot about later on.

During a game of chess, after thinking about his move for 20 minutes ...

Ryan: Ah ha! Eat that! You have been had my friend.
(Jon swoops in and takes Ryan's queen)
Ryan: (Gasp)
Jon: Looks like the ol' Chess Alzheimer's got you again. Checkmate, fool.
Ryan: (Tears up)
Jon: It's okay man. Let's go watch Upstream Color. It'll cheer you up.
Ryan: No thanks, I like stories that are actually good. You know, with a beginning, middle, and end. Fuck that $hit. I'm going to play Halo. (flips chess board and leaves with dignity)

Chess Alzheimer's by RhInO May 18, 2013

herbal Alzheimer's

The effects of marijuana usage that remain for a time after the high has worn off, such as forgetfulness, lack of motivation, apathy, and general emotional fucked-uppedness.

Not noticed so much in occasional users, but very obvious in those who buy Zig-Zags by the case.

Herbal Alzheimer's looks like Tommy Chong at his peak before his first weed of the day.

herbal Alzheimer's by da Graybeard August 6, 2009

Alzheimer’s 

A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted.

A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted. A disease that makes old people forget things quickly, the brain of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually very crumpled up and twisted.

Alzheimer’s by awsomecolin January 4, 2023

Alzheimer's Express 

The daily route from the retirement home to nearby locations taken by senior citizens who ride their motorized carts.

Old lady O'brien rode the Alzheimer's Express all the way to the corner store.

Alzheimer's Express by Nailo April 28, 2005

Horny Alzheimer's Desease 

(noun) Horny Alzheimer (háwrnee áalts-hīmerz)
(After Alois Alzheimer (1864-1915), german neurologist)

"Horny Alzheimer" or "Horny Alzheimer’s Disease" (also H.A.D.) is a medical disorder causing dementia when sex is expected: a degenerative disorder that affects the brain and causes dementia (especially late in life or late at night), forgetting all those negative memories or moral impediments you have regarding some questionable partner you had, in order to: get laid, to scratch the old itch, to dance horizontal lambada, etc..

Example 1:
- Hey, Susan! are you really going out with Rick again? Wasn't he the one who cheated on you with your sister?
- I don't remember...
- Well, I do, he also stole your dvd player and still owes me 230 bucks.
- mmm... sorry, I don't follow...
- Yes, yes, he's the one, you even tattooed his name on your shoulder, slut.

- (making common facial gestures in a Horny Alzheimer's Desease patient) really?
- Oh my, I know exactly the name of the disease you have.

Example 2:
- So what do you think about that David Letterman and his assistant, huh?
- All I heard is that they were lovers, right?
- Yes. They say he wasn't married but engaged when he was fooling around with her.
- Drat! H.A.D. strikes again!

Example 3:
- Please, doctor, come quickly! I think my mom's Horny Alzheimer is getting worse...
- Why do you think so?
- Because she had sex with my uncle last week and now she's hooking up with my cousin.
- It doesn't seem that bad.
- And yesterday she was making out with grandma.
- Ok, where do you live?
- 77 Langford street, near Lemontree Park, in the state of...
- No need to tell me, you must be in Texas.

Horny Alzheimer's Desease by JUEFELES September 26, 2010