While some may find the works of (insert annoying author here) to be enlightening and insightful, I am quite turned off by the excessive amount of literary wankerbation that this asstard uses to completely dance around anything remotely resembling a point.
Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).