Top Definition
An umptie is anything that will fuck you up. Alcohol, Marijuana, Acid, things like that. But it is a secretive term...shhhhh!
Yo man you got my umpties? I'm not tryin' to remember tonight!
by Ross Mofuckin' L July 05, 2006
An umpty is where your sweaty balls stick to your leg and you can't get them un stuck.
1. I been running in this heat for hours I probably have an Umpty.
2. Look at that sweaty obese unattractive fat man run I bet he is gonna have an Umpty that not even a crowbar will get unstuck.
by Russell J Amirault January 15, 2009

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