University of Scandal and Conceit, led by Sad Max, became the most corrupt college administration in history. A med school dean was found with a drugged-up 21-year-old woman; he was allowed to remain on faculty, see patients, and raise money until 2017. An FBI sting caught the men’s basketball associate coach taking thousands in bribes. The film school’s chief panhandler, Queen Elizabeth, collected a mountain of dead students while accepting cash from an inside trader ($5M) and director Bryan Singer ($5M) - he was accused of sexual assault of a minor. Queen Elizabeth rejected a $5M female scholarship endowment by rapist Harvey Weinstein only after a student-led petition labeled the gift “blood money.” An entire class of graduate students in the School of Art and Design quit in protest due to poor instruction and academics. A gynecologist sexually abused hundreds of students over 30 years. He resigned with a financial payout. USC declined to inform patients or report him to the state medical board until a nurse filed a complaint about the doctor to an on-campus rape crisis center. An athletic director allegedly accepted more than $1.3 million in bribes including $500K from actress Laurie Loughlin. Loughlin’s daughter, Princess Jaded, bragged on YouTube about attending USC only to attend parties. TMZ found Princess Jaded sunbathing on the head of the USC Board of Trustee’s $100M yacht in the Bahamas when the scandal broke. Apparently, Laurie was not playing with a full house.
Teen: After high school, I want to go to USC - University of Scandal and Conceit.

Parent: The University of Scandal and Conceit? Perhaps you should rethink your options. You have a "C" average. I don't have $10,000 to bribe your way into the university and you don't even play water polo.

Teen: Horses can swim? You don't need to bribe anyone because I'm going to be a film student.

Parent: You want me to pay Queen Elizabeth $1,000 a credit so she can attend European film conferences, while collecting $65,000 a year just for sitting on the board of an editing software company? All you will get after graduation is a job answering phones in West Hollywood and running to Ralph's to restock the production company's kitchen.

Teen: I spend all my time on my iPhone now.

Parent: You're going to a community college for two years, then you can transfer to UCLA, Cal State Northridge, Cal State LA, or Cal State Long Beach. Steven Spielberg had a "C" average in high school and he went to film school at Cal State Long Beach.

Teen: I guess I'll hang out with the Queen Mary for a couple of years.
by G. Floyd December 13, 2020
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