What guys try to use when they think another girl is being bitchy, but ends up sounding like a retarded jerk to other girls.
by Jalopy May 23, 2007
The worst time of the month for a man, similar to hell or slow bloody death. During a woman's pms, she becomes a beast, not as bad as the devil but pretty damn close. Not the best time to ask for sex, or do much of anything involving your girlfriend. In other words, leave her the fuck alone! Women are also known to pull out concealed weapons in pms
*Pms stands for pre menstrual syndrome or pass me the shotgun
Signs of pms are
•Bitchyness
•uncontrolable anger in a woman
•Demented mood swings
•threats of murder or suicide
•sudden growth of a tail and horns
*girls say its a hard time for them, but thats no reason to take out your anger and concealed weapons on us men. We're trying to help (unless we're not)
*Pms stands for pre menstrual syndrome or pass me the shotgun
Signs of pms are
•Bitchyness
•uncontrolable anger in a woman
•Demented mood swings
•threats of murder or suicide
•sudden growth of a tail and horns
*girls say its a hard time for them, but thats no reason to take out your anger and concealed weapons on us men. We're trying to help (unless we're not)
Girl-i hate you!
Boy- what the fuck did i do?
Girl- oh my god i fuckin love you!!!
Boy- WHAT???
Girl- (pulls out a pistol) Get the fuck out of my fuckin house you fuckin pervert!!!
Boy- oh shit, its that time of the month. I hate PMS
Boy- what the fuck did i do?
Girl- oh my god i fuckin love you!!!
Boy- WHAT???
Girl- (pulls out a pistol) Get the fuck out of my fuckin house you fuckin pervert!!!
Boy- oh shit, its that time of the month. I hate PMS
by Da fat rat wit da cheese July 19, 2009
The thing about pms, is women don't realize they are being bitchy. I don't even know, when I'm acting bitchy when I suffer from PMS. For those who say it's a fact that it doesn't exist, I don't know where you got that information, because it's a lie.
by Zinnia December 13, 2006
by Escortingwords March 19, 2017
A psychological condition that occurs a day or two before and/or during menstruation that anyone who's ever lived with a woman for longer than 2 months can confirm is not a myth.
This is a serious phenomenon in which a woman will say things that can irreparably damage a relationship, treat their partner with a disrepect he (or she) hasn't earned, and estrange them from anyone who does not suffer from the condition.
This is a serious phenomenon in which a woman will say things that can irreparably damage a relationship, treat their partner with a disrepect he (or she) hasn't earned, and estrange them from anyone who does not suffer from the condition.
It took me a year to figure out that the times my girlfriend was acting like a nut were the few days before she was on her rag.
Now, she puts her period on the calendar, and I mark the two days prior as PMS times in which I make sure to hang out with my friends in another town. I don't try to argue with her during this time because I can't deal with the enormous logical fallacies that a woman suffering this condition produces.
dude: ite i'm out. cya tomorrow.
chick: you're going to fuck another woman aren't you. AREN'T YOU?!?
dude: yes, that makes sense. see you tomorrow.
Now, she puts her period on the calendar, and I mark the two days prior as PMS times in which I make sure to hang out with my friends in another town. I don't try to argue with her during this time because I can't deal with the enormous logical fallacies that a woman suffering this condition produces.
dude: ite i'm out. cya tomorrow.
chick: you're going to fuck another woman aren't you. AREN'T YOU?!?
dude: yes, that makes sense. see you tomorrow.
by ianp March 22, 2008
The time before, and during a women's menstrual cycle.
It causes some women to become bloated, irritable,have severe cramps and mood swings. Most of the time eating chocolate helps. ^^'
Btw women are not BITCHY during this time of the month. Their hormones are raging in their bodies causing different emotions to occur. It is NOT a reason for men to run away screaming.
It causes some women to become bloated, irritable,have severe cramps and mood swings. Most of the time eating chocolate helps. ^^'
Btw women are not BITCHY during this time of the month. Their hormones are raging in their bodies causing different emotions to occur. It is NOT a reason for men to run away screaming.
by killi August 21, 2008
PMS (noun)
Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS is a hormonal state that affects some (SOME!) women and makes them more sensitive, bloated, angry, murderous and liable to need huge quantities of chocolate more than normally so. The condition lasts up to four weeks of every month.
PMS may also possibly stand for Punish My Spouse, or Pissed-off,& Murderously Savage. There is some argument amongst scholars over the exact words that make this acronym.
Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS is a hormonal state that affects some (SOME!) women and makes them more sensitive, bloated, angry, murderous and liable to need huge quantities of chocolate more than normally so. The condition lasts up to four weeks of every month.
PMS may also possibly stand for Punish My Spouse, or Pissed-off,& Murderously Savage. There is some argument amongst scholars over the exact words that make this acronym.
Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversit aat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills. It's considered as necessary to surviving a Kreplachi marriage as laying in a huge supply of 2-layer, deluxe boxes of the best chocolates for the two or more weeks a month of a Kreplachi wife's PMS. (Scientists postulate that a gene in the Kreplachi population is found on the X chromosome, and women, being XX, get two of them and thus have twice the normal amount of PMS as the general population of women around the world.)
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
by Ortlieb Gottschalk July 10, 2007