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Telesphore 

An amazing guy who loves his girl freind very much, not always the brightest crayon in the box but still pretty amazing. The one perfect man in your life whoo always knows how to make you smile, even when you are super pissed at them.The one person who you are willing to spen your forever with. The most perfect guy to ever live.
Telesphore is such an awsome man.
Telesphore by Fraggle1 August 2, 2011
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telephone ear, telephone elbow, & telephone hand

After a long time on a regular house phone (not a cell phone), the ears, elbows, & hands get so tired from holding the phone they get sore.
That 5~hour phone call sure gave me telephone ear, telephone elbow, & telephone hand making them so very sore.

Talking to God on the big white telephone

Being in such a paralytic state from the mass consumption of alcohol that when you reach the toilet you are usually slumped down hugging the bowl and screaming 'Oh God!' into the shit abyss in between violent bouts of upchuck.
Yeah man, got so wasted last night I ended up talking to God on the big white telephone!

pink telephone 

Used to describe female masturbation and orgasm as used in the phrase, "I dialed 'O' on the pink telephone."
I was so horny last night that I fired up my vibrator and dialed "O" on the pink telephone.
pink telephone by JohnstonGuy November 27, 2005

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone 

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.
BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

Neon Telephone

When a famous musician writes a song for your band, but it's a terrible song — a la Prince's "Neon Telephone" for the Three O'Clock.
"I thought we'd be famous, but we got a Neon Telephone."
Neon Telephone by Mudd Flaps June 28, 2013

Touch Tone Telephone 

one of the greatest song ever and may as well be a love song
"cause you're the only person in the world who understands"
you can't tell me Touch Tone Telephone isn't gay