Top definition
A particularly gloopy or gelatinous sample of jizzum.

Can be used as a verb (to splarch) to indicate that someone has ejaculated.
"My mate just blew his load in the sink, fucking splarch everywhere."

"Ahwhhhh I just wanna splarch all over that pasta sauce"
by ThatGoodD December 28, 2015
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2
Splarch is a word to replace a noun in any given sentence. It was originally used in a sentence by the Litwinovich and Guinesso Family. More than often, splarch is used to confuse elders and sound like a fairly grotesque word. One can use splarch to replace any noun whatsoever...cat, dog, faucet, DNA, book, etc.
Parent: Hey, can you get me a bagel?
Teen: Is it in the splarch or the freezer?

Kid: Can I have a towel, I'm gonna jump in the splarch.

Friend: hey, I just got the new Google app!
Friend 2: Oh, come on! That app's a peice of splarch. (as to replace "junk")

Person: he is such a splarch-gargler.
by Wa-Tah! July 05, 2013
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