1. Cum ben the sittin room wee man
(come through to the living room small one)
2.we gittin fir oor tea maw??
(what are we having for dinner mother)
3.Dinnie gees any yir shite
(could you refrain from bullshiting please)
4. Yill beh cuvered in dug hair fae erse tae fuckin tit!!!
Oh my... you'll be covered in dog hair
2 Is responcible for The United Kingdom, as it subsidises England, rescently stoped the English from electing the pro-ethnic cleansing Conservitave party, and does all the fighting in Iraq.
3 The only country in the world to have a First Past the Post system of government and a 6 party system.
4 Invented everything of use in the world
5 The only country in the world which has a minority of people who speak the official language
6 Best Primary Education in the world and 6th best secondary education (after Japan, S Korea, and Scandanavia)
It is very patriotic and has some good local rugby teams, some top-quality football teams, great pies, beer, and an education system that 0wnz all others.
Only bad thing is the climate, which is a bit duff.
Jesus: But Father you have created this wonderous land with beautiful scenery and natural wonders, why are you so generous to these people?
God: Yes my Son! But wait untill you see the Neighbours I am giving them!
The northernmost country of the United Kingdom. Reknowned for tartans/kilts(which men look stunning in!), the lovely Highlands, many languages (Gàidhlig, Scots),
and much grief from the English.
Americans are known to settle there because of less expensive homes. The country is already very mixed up with people; native Scots could eventually be overwhelmed.
"Nach eil Gàidhlig agaibh?" (You don't speak Gaelic?)
"I'm afraid that I don't understand you, ma'am... I thought you people spoke English."
"We do speak English... and Gaelic was our original language before the bloody English came in!"
You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Jimmy Hill - twice.
Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Contrary to popular belief that it was England that took over Scotland, it was the other way around. James I of England was originally James VI of Scotland, Mary Queen of Scots son. When Elizabeth I died without an heir, her only living relative, James VI, became King of England, and thus united the two countries.
Scotland has a rich heritage coming from the Picts, the Celts, the Vikings, the Romans etc. Surprisingly to some, not all Scots have ginger hair. In fact, gingers (myself included) are a dying breed.
We have an excellent education system, which is much easier to understand how it works than the English system. Start school aged 4/5, leave aged 17/18 after 7 years at Primary and 6 years at secondary. We have one of the world's best universities, handily located on the East Neuk of Fife in scenic St. Andrew's, which unfortunately is becoming polluted with English toffs who are unnecessarily keen to escape top-up fees and want to go to St. Andrew's. YOU ARE RICH. YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY!
Excellent football, with the best team in Scotland being Glasgow Celtic Football Club, despite the poor national record, although the ladies side is promising.
Scotland is a very patriotic country, and does not in fact harbour IRA supporters. It also appears as though England and the English are determined to squash our Scottishness, as whenever we do something well, we become British, but English people doing well retain their national identity. An excellent example of this is with Andrew Murray the tennis star from Dunblane who was consistantly referred to as British, yet Henman is English.
The Scottish Government is doing well, after a 300 year absence. Despite the Labour party technically being in power, at least we don't have Tony Blair and the recent loss of a "safe Labour" seat in Dunfermline and East Fife to the Lib Dems shows that Labour is out. Once New Labour are ejected from power, either the Lib Dems or the SNP should gain power. The SNP have very admirable aims, as Scotland's independance is reluctant as if we weren't joined with England, who would there be to fight in Iraq.
Also home to some of the funniest people and great actors and past inventors.