When one’s penis is flared at the end, somewhat resembling a trumpet or other brass instrument.
“Yo Jack, did you see that?! Fidel’s got mad trumpet schlong!
by Crumbling peen October 17, 2020
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When your Schlong instantly becomes longer than usual, over people in the gender of your personal sexuality.
I saw the biggest tits ever! It definitely gave me an instant long schlong.
by dameyinata December 22, 2013
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For a male to whip out his semi erect penis and slap it on a females back.
Jenny: you know what I fancy, receiving a serious schlong tom bomb.

John: I can help you there 2 secs, lemme just whip it out.
by Schlongonthat March 22, 2016
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When your uncle comes over from his weekly visit from Russia, you must bend over and pledge alliegence to his whip. Bend over and let him whip your ballsack until it rips open and your kidney beans fall out. Proceed to cut off the strings and cook them on a Bunsen burner and serve with a side of mayonnaise and brown mustard. Cut off our Weiner and put in a hot dog bun. Serve with the blood of your enemies. Sit naked on a spiked chair and watch him majestically eat them. Have Fun!
Can't wait until my uncle domes over from Russia and gives me the best Russian Schlong Whipping of my life!
by Shaedy September 20, 2018
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when your uncle comes over for his weekly visit from Russia, as soon as he enters the door, you must pull down your pants and pledge you allegiance to his whip. Proceed to let him whip your balls and until it splits open and your kidney beans fall out. Cook them on a Bunsen burner for him and serve to him with a side of mustard and mayo.
Can't wait until my uncle comes. He's gonna give me the best Russian schlong whipping of my life
by Shaedy September 20, 2018
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Online dick.

In recognition of Elon Musk like antics on social media.
Did you see that E-schlong says he is now a Republican?
by Hendrix the Jimmy May 19, 2022
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