Quagle

The offspring of a Quail and a Cagle. The creature has been known to roam certain parts of the greater Los Angeles area. The creature feeds on midgets, bikers, skater kids, illegal immigrants, quesadillas, and people who won't bum a cigarette to a Quagle. The average Quagle can consume up to three times it's body weight each hour, although the average size of a Quagle doesn't get too much bigger than 5'6" tall with a 42 foot wing span, they generally weigh about 120 lbs, so due to the Quagle's eating patterns, it takes about 300 - 46,000,000 giant dumps per day. Quagles can't fly but they can play various death metal songs on the guitar. A Quagle's chirp is rumored to be able to cure Herpagonnasyphilaids, (the deadly combination of Herpes, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and AIDs.) But the unfortunate thing is that Quagles only chirp three times in their entire life span.

Very few people have had close encounters with a Quagle and lived to tell about it.

by Dr. Beyed Goington M.D. September 21, 2010

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