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A phantom shit is the rare phenominon wherein a shit (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the shitee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom shit completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant.

Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly shit or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding shit upon the toilet paper. However, if the shit was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no shit-stains, then symptons may intensify until the shitee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories.
-Bob squats over his toilet and unleashes a dump
-Bob rises to a stand and stares down at the toilet to find it empty. A phantom shit has occured.
-Astonished, Bob grabs for some toilet roll in a panic and wipes his ass
-The toilet roll produces no shit post-wipe and Bob runs away from the bathroom flailing his hands above his head whilst screaming
-Bob tells his friends that The Illuminati are in cahoots with giant-headed aliens in a plot to take over the world.
-Bob creates retarded websites and spends his life masterbating over sexless, fictional alien creatures.
by Conor Reilly December 02, 2006
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When you are sitting on the crapper and you force out what feels like a triple coiler and you look in the bowl of the toilet and its gone
"(on the phone after a phantom shit)"
Person A: i was just sitting on john for twenty minutes and i took the biggest shit of my life
Person B: Did you get a picture?
by ||Loco|| March 01, 2009
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when you take a shit, and when you wipe your ass, there isnt any shit on the toilet paper
i saved three minutes by taking a phantom shit, way to be
by ray June 17, 2004
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A mysterious shit left by a person in an abnormal place to annoy another person, followed by a phone call to the victim whispering "The phantom has struck."
Example 1: "Oh my god someone has shit on a plate and put it in the fridge.

Example 2: Victim "What is that on top of the bonnet of my car? Christ that's somebody's shit."

Telephone Rings

Victim "Hello"

Phantom Shitter: "The phantom has struck"
by The Phantom Shizer March 15, 2011
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when you take a shit, and when you wipe your ass, there isn't any shit on the toilet paper
i just took a phantom shit, i saved a couple of minutes because i didn't have to wipe my ass
by ray May 29, 2004
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The phantom shit is that feeling that you still have to shit when the amount of matter dumped into the bowl clearly indicates that there is no shit left to evacuate from your colon. Much like people who loose limbs can still feel as if the limb is there.
I'll be out in a second, I'm still feeling the phantom shit!
by Imperion August 16, 2005
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A phantom shit is when you take such a big dump that it has the velocity to go through the pipes without you needing to flush and when you look down it has appeared to vanish.
person 1 : Jaysus, just had a giant shit. When I looked down to check the size of it, it had disappeared.
person 2 : So it was a "Phantom Shit" ?

person 1 : Yeah! Didn't even need to flush.
by BillyyLAD November 27, 2012
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