A phantom shit is a sizeable dump usually laid under cover of darkness in a public place. When stumbled upon in daylight by an unsuspecting individual, hilarity is meant to ensue.
Less frequently referred to as a ghost shit, the phantom shit usually shows up in such places as post boxes, car hoods, children's playgrounds, and any general public place ripe for mischief.
I took my son to the playground on Saturday morning and he slid down the tube slide right into a pile of crap; some fucking punk must have laid down a phantom shit there on Friday night.
#phantom shitter #ghost shit #dump #crap #feces
by timboooo September 02, 2006
Top Definition
A phantom shit is the rare phenominon wherein a shit (usually of a solid, well-defined mars bar-like constitution) disappears entirely from sight before the shitee has a chance to admire his creation. A phantom shit completely submerges itself beneath the upper waters of a toilet-bowl in an instant.

Initially such an occurence brings on the sensation of euphoria. However, the bliss is quickly replaced by paranoia and self-doubt as one tries to recall if they did truly shit or not. Usually the doubt can be subdued by wiping ones ass and finding shit upon the toilet paper. However, if the shit was a clean run and the toilet paper produces no shit-stains, then symptons may intensify until the shitee becomes a paranoid retard who believes in, and creates, conspiracy theories.
-Bob squats over his toilet and unleashes a dump
-Bob rises to a stand and stares down at the toilet to find it empty. A phantom shit has occured.
-Astonished, Bob grabs for some toilet roll in a panic and wipes his ass
-The toilet roll produces no shit post-wipe and Bob runs away from the bathroom flailing his hands above his head whilst screaming
-Bob tells his friends that The Illuminati are in cahoots with giant-headed aliens in a plot to take over the world.
-Bob creates retarded websites and spends his life masterbating over sexless, fictional alien creatures.
#shadow #shit #alien #conspiracy #theory #bob #illuminati #toilet #dump #phantom shit
by Conor Reilly December 02, 2006
When you are sitting on the crapper and you force out what feels like a triple coiler and you look in the bowl of the toilet and its gone
"(on the phone after a phantom shit)"
Person A: i was just sitting on john for twenty minutes and i took the biggest shit of my life
Person B: Did you get a picture?
#phantom shit #spaghetti #gay #picture #lol
by ||Loco|| March 01, 2009
when you take a shit, and when you wipe your ass, there isnt any shit on the toilet paper
i saved three minutes by taking a phantom shit, way to be
by ray June 17, 2004
A mysterious shit left by a person in an abnormal place to annoy another person, followed by a phone call to the victim whispering "The phantom has struck."
Example 1: "Oh my god someone has shit on a plate and put it in the fridge.

Example 2: Victim "What is that on top of the bonnet of my car? Christ that's somebody's shit."

Telephone Rings

Victim "Hello"

Phantom Shitter: "The phantom has struck"
#shit #shitter #shizer #crap #poo
by The Phantom Shizer March 15, 2011
A phantom shit is when you take such a big dump that it has the velocity to go through the pipes without you needing to flush and when you look down it has appeared to vanish.
person 1 : Jaysus, just had a giant shit. When I looked down to check the size of it, it had disappeared.
person 2 : So it was a "Phantom Shit" ?

person 1 : Yeah! Didn't even need to flush.
#poo #shite #shit #toilet #phantom
by BillyyLAD November 27, 2012
1. when you've had a crap and wipe your arse but the sheet comes back clean, and you wonder if you actually went.

2. a phrase meaning you've had good luck
1. "I was running late but I really needed a shit - luckily it was a phantom, so I made it to work bang on time."

2. A - "Hey, you look happy."
B - "Yeah, I've been having phantom shits all week."
by ~swan July 20, 2005
when you take a shit, and when you wipe your ass, there isn't any shit on the toilet paper
i just took a phantom shit, i saved a couple of minutes because i didn't have to wipe my ass
by ray May 29, 2004
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