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1.
To petch someone is to touch a little man deliberately but make it look accidental.
Ian: What you doing mate?

Midget: Just hanging around not much, you?

Ian: It's fucking bollocks mate, whats that on your crotch. I'll get it. *

Midget: Get the fuck off. Dude, you just Petched me?

Ian: I can't help it mate, you're a little man

*Grabs a healthy handful of penis.
by Colinlovesmen March 16, 2007
 
2.
To have something put over you in a very entertaining way.
"I got Petched last night"
"I'm on the way to being Petched"
"I woke up Petched as a maggot"
"I only wanted 1 more for the road, but before I knew it. I was Petched"
"Childsy copped a classic Petching"
"Hogarth's up for an extreme Petching tonight"
"I had my Petch goggles on"
"I know she said she was only 17, but I was Petched"
by TaliWhite_Fan August 07, 2014