Essentially, a giant suburban landscape filled to the brim with strip malls, outdoor shopping plazas with god forsaken asphalt seas, and awful drivers to complete the package. I've lived in the state all my life and it has provided me nothing but agonizing years of pain and boredom. While some parts of the state feature fairly attractive rural areas, quaint towns untouched by idiotic guido scum and historic architecture, the majority of it is housing developments and moronic people who never got up and moved west but would rather pay exuberent taxes. The McMansion reigns supreme and it takes forever to drive anywhere. It is the worst example of post-war America next to Long Island and Los Angeles. Mediocre public transport, identical housing tracts, and bland boring suburban culture.

New Jersey can be divided into three parts, North, Central, and South.

The North, it is populated by your typical Bergen county types who range from retarded Italians to cracked out minority. Despite it's proximity to New York, it is fairly unsafe and still suffers from extreme amounts of crime and poverty.

Central New Jersey is the heart of suburbia as it lacks access to nothing worthwhile aside malls and diners, which in turn, are boring and pathetic examples of pride which others deem them. Princeton University is located here, but most people in New Jersey rarely visit it considering Princeton is one large Asian fortress that keeps to it's own.

Southern New Jersey is the epitome of the country but with all the charm of being mentally ill. Despite proximity to Philadelphia, it too suffers from crime in nearby Camden.

And then there's the shore, or beach areas. Basically overpriced slums with a wooden walkway known as a boardwalk for you to fritter away your time before you return to your respective suburb.

Do not come to New Jersey. It's like everywhere else in America that you hate, but worse.
New Jersey is awful, I'm moving to California.
by New Jersey Blows August 15, 2009

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The great state that ended up being the play toy of the fucking idiots of MTV and the Jersey Shore. A show that has no point to exist and should be thrown off air immediately and no I'm not from joisey.
Hey where you from.
New Jersey
Oh youz from Joizey
No, I'm from New Jersey. You need special ed-classes.
by A Rebel October 11, 2010

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Best definition I've ever heard for Jersey, taken from the movie Eddie and the Cruisers II, Eddie Lives!:

Diane: You really enjoy this life, don’t you? Always travelling?

Eddie: Still miss Jersey.

Diane: (scoffs) And what’s so special about Jersey?

Eddie: Baby, there’s nowhere else in the world like the Garden State. You got miles of swamps and mountains of dumps, different-coloured rivers, automobile graveyards, breweries, factories, ballparks, all mixed up together. It’s the best place to live.

Diane: Uh-huh. Then why does the Statue of Liberty face the other way?

Eddie: Ooh.
New Jersey--nothing else is quite the same.
by ForgottenValkyrie January 07, 2010

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the home state of one of the greatest troubadours of rock'n'roll - Bruce Springsteen!

Also the state name is the name of a 1988 Bon Jovi album.
The first time I ever saw the Atlantic Ocean (and waded in it) was at Seaside Heights, New Jersey. I was 15 years old at the time.
by I Saw U2 Live Twice January 14, 2009

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A shittier version of Florida.

New Jersey is:
Overcrowded with arrogant people. When they have a nickel, they act as if they have a dollar. They are very showy people. The people of New Jersey act much dumber than they truly are, as they have made being stupid seem cool. Thanks Jersey Shore.
Person from New Jersey: Yo, just got my paycheck. Gotta show off to the ladies so I'm gonna spend this shit tonight. You in?
Person from a different state: No, I'm going to save up to get the house of my dreams in 5 years.

NJ: Man that's fucking stupid.
by 88424 August 09, 2011

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The biggest piece of shit in the UNION. Smells like Bigfoot's dick mixed with Snookie's pussy juice. The arm pits of New York City and Philly. Full of orange blowout faggets that like to fist pump. Does not have the concept of the real world and thinks every one is out the get them. Women are cocky fat sluts who think they are hot and frequent abortion clinics. A place to go if you want to get a blow out from all the pot holes in the streets, and have your car stolen while you go for help. Your only real ambition as a person from New Jersey is to move to New York. A great place to get cheap drugs on any city street corner.
New Jersey, cause hell was full.
by FNJ August 11, 2011

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A place where people say Joisy instead of Jersey but insist they say Jersey. A place of bad haircuts and gold chains. When traveling down I95 if you see a hole in the ground and smell foul odors you're there. Where people focus on superficial shit like their tan and how many times they went to the gym that week. Where the guys beat off while watching videos of themselves beating off. Where they hate New York but they're just New York light. A place where liberal douche bag singers like Bruce Springsteen come from. He sucks, you know it. A place where you can bang nasty orange skin skanks. The beach is defined as the place where you can get used needles that washed ashore. Where AIDS and drug use is as common as the foul smelling air. A place that is the butt of many jokes. Tied with West Virginia with the least amount of last names in the phone book. Claim they invented cheese fries. When you go to a bar there all you can smell is cheap cologne, tanning lotion and stank pussy. Instead of Karaoke nights they have fist pumping nights. When super storm Sandy hit it was like someone flushed the toilet but some of the turds didn't go down.
Person 1- "I have to go to New Jersey this weekend."
Person 2- "That sucks. Make sure you get tested when you get back."
Person 1- "Tested for what."
Person 2- "AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, lung capacity, IQ, hair products, excessive liberalism and skin cancer."
by The real Satan's Helper February 06, 2015

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