New Moon is the second novel in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It is another desperate rant about how Bella's life has gone awry yet again (oh noes =O) because Edward, being a pussy and unable to handle their relationship "difficulties", ditched her and promised to never come back. (Good riddance.)
Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (ie. Zomg I have friends at school? (or HAD) -- since her senses filter out anything that is NOT Edward) and because she had a non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)
Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T
The middle chapters are predictable as hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (ie. Zomg I have friends at school? (or HAD) -- since her senses filter out anything that is NOT Edward) and because she had a non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)
Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T
The middle chapters are predictable as hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Edward: Sht this isn't working. K um.. bye!
Bella: O_O Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO'DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
Bella: O_O Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO'DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
by Angemichelo October 5, 2008
Perhaps the most depressing book in the entire Twilight series, New Moon tells the story of Bella Swan as she learns to adapt to life after her true love, Edward, leaves her. She finds friendship in a family friend Jacob Black and then procedes to spend all of her time with him until he goes through a strange transformation that will change their relationship forever. As well as the characters that are expected to return several surprises are thrown at Bella. This is a great book but is personally my least favorite in the series because Edwards is truely the core of Bella's life and it is difficult to see her in pain.
by Lily Cullen July 30, 2008
The act of mooning someone sleeping and taking a picture of it and showing everyone except your victim.
by Puffthecarrier1 January 7, 2011
A major disappointment in the Twilight series. The second installment out of the current four. Written by the brilliant Stephenie Meyer.
It was by far the pointless need by Stephenie Meyer to express Bella's unnatural love for Edward. Readers were engrossed by the intense love between Bella and Edward, only to be let down by his total absence in New Moon.
However, very insightful to other characters in the plot and the overall true introduction of Jacob Black, the most kick ass character in the novel. Who gives the series the depth it was lacking in Twilight.
It was by far the pointless need by Stephenie Meyer to express Bella's unnatural love for Edward. Readers were engrossed by the intense love between Bella and Edward, only to be let down by his total absence in New Moon.
However, very insightful to other characters in the plot and the overall true introduction of Jacob Black, the most kick ass character in the novel. Who gives the series the depth it was lacking in Twilight.
Example #1: Twilight was awesome, but New Moon was boring as fuck!
Example #2: New Moon was only bearable because of Jacob Black.
Example #3: "God, i cant wait to finish New Moon so i can get to Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
Example #4: If Stephenie Meyer decides to continue with the Twilight series, i hope the fifth books isn't as depressing as New Moon.
Example #2: New Moon was only bearable because of Jacob Black.
Example #3: "God, i cant wait to finish New Moon so i can get to Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
Example #4: If Stephenie Meyer decides to continue with the Twilight series, i hope the fifth books isn't as depressing as New Moon.
by TrinityLife September 15, 2008
The second novel in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. The film, starring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner is directed by Chris Weitz. The plot is about a now eighteen human teenager, Bella Swan, who is in love with a never growing glorious vampire, Edward Cullen. In the first chapter, a incident happens where Edward realizes that him being so close to her could kill her. Not wanting to cause her harm and keep her safe, he does what he thinks is best for Bella, he leaves Forks, Washington.
Bella Swan is heartbroken for months, and the only thing that can numb her pain is time with best friend Jacob Black. Throughout the book you will discover Jacob has a secret too, he is a werewolf. And it just so happens werewolves and vampires are natural enemies. Also, Laurent and Victoria from Twilight return. And the ending will leave you happy as ever and ready for Eclipse.
Bella Swan is heartbroken for months, and the only thing that can numb her pain is time with best friend Jacob Black. Throughout the book you will discover Jacob has a secret too, he is a werewolf. And it just so happens werewolves and vampires are natural enemies. Also, Laurent and Victoria from Twilight return. And the ending will leave you happy as ever and ready for Eclipse.
"Dude, I'm so pumped to go watch New Moon!"
"Me too! Robert/Edward is so hot. Taylors body is to die for."
"Me too! Robert/Edward is so hot. Taylors body is to die for."
by twihaarder November 22, 2009
The act of smearing feces (your own or a friends) all over your ass cheeks until your white pasty butt now appears completely black. Then proceed to moon an unsuspecting person. The shit-covered ass appears at first glance to be not the typical full moon, but a dark new moon.
*If a person is truly creative, they can use varying amounts of poo to recreate all phases of the moon (New, waxing crescent 1st quarter, waxing gibbous, full, waning gibbous, 3rd quarter, waning crescent, and new)
*If a person is truly creative, they can use varying amounts of poo to recreate all phases of the moon (New, waxing crescent 1st quarter, waxing gibbous, full, waning gibbous, 3rd quarter, waning crescent, and new)
a cop is sitting outside of Dunkin Donuts and looks up when a car driving by honks.
"hey copper, check this out!" the driver motions to the passenger in the back who put his shit covered ass out the window.
"Oh damn, Tell your black friend that he's gonna pay for that!"
"My friend isn't black, silly! You just got the Philadelphia New Moon!"
"Eww Gross!" the cop shakes his night stick angrily!
"hey copper, check this out!" the driver motions to the passenger in the back who put his shit covered ass out the window.
"Oh damn, Tell your black friend that he's gonna pay for that!"
"My friend isn't black, silly! You just got the Philadelphia New Moon!"
"Eww Gross!" the cop shakes his night stick angrily!
by RedDan69 April 5, 2011