Methodist College is a private institution that is located in Fayetteville, NC. The student body primarily consists of extremely disfigured women and alcoholic golfers who drink heavily just to blur the memories of sleeping with them. While students who live on-campus suffer from a strictly enforced "no-alcohol policy", off-campus students at Heather Ridge Apartments enjoy the freedom of vandalizing and littering the complex with Beast Ice cans and King Cobra 40's. The HR residents also like to enjoy late night swimming, sausage fests, and 3 AM trips to Wafflehouse to admire the local crackheads. Even though Methodist College accumulates a ridiculous amount of revenue off tuition (3rd most expensive college in North Carolina), most would fail to recognize where this tuition money is utilized. Surely it isn't all spent on the burnt out "community college level" faculty. The money is obviously spent elsewhere because The Methodist College "Security" Force relies heavily on making money by giving students parking tickets for parking in an inappropriate fashion or driving 1.75 miles over the speed limit. Perhaps the most suitable conclusion for this definition would be the Methodist College Alma Mater. "Methodist College, where the men are men, and the women are too."
by Bart April 15, 2005
Smokes crystal meth all night Saturday so they will be up and ready to go to church on Sunday. May smoke crystal meth more often than Saturday, possibly every day, but will never be seen smoking crystal meth by a fellow member of their congregation and will deny use of crystal meth if confronted by atheists, drug users, former addicts, or people who don't care in order to look like a pure, white clean Methodist saint. Some of the churches these folks go to ought to be called united methheadist church.
by Solid Mantis August 8, 2016
1. A born again birth control user who excessively claims to be using natural birth control method; and gives TMI about her cycle, her sex life, and her religious beliefs.
2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.
2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.
She's a total Natural Methodist; she would have never made it through high school or technical school if she really was using the the rhythm method. I can't eat hard boiled eggs anymore since she told me when she ovulates.
by floorfly November 19, 2010
A person with facial tattoos that refer to the Christian faith. This person is often stick-thin with an appearance most commonly associated with meth addicts. Crystal Methodists are most often found on the popular television show "Cops".
"Damn man, look at a this white trash!"
"Woah, be quiet Fred! You know there's a bunch of Crystal Methodists living around here! You'd be shot in a heartbeat!"
"Woah, be quiet Fred! You know there's a bunch of Crystal Methodists living around here! You'd be shot in a heartbeat!"
by Optimal11 December 15, 2013
A specific type of axe, These have two cutting faces, hence the axe being called two faced. Used by lumberjacks in competions.
by Drillboss June 19, 2019
the methodist college is recommended for methodists
by conejo October 14, 2005
A Methodist pecker checker is a girl who, when making time with a guy, feels his penis and masturbates him if he is tumescent.
Charlene is a Methodist pecker checker; she guarantees a good time.
by Cranberry Bob November 30, 2019