Matthewism

Defined as the religion created from the superior name, by superior beings. To follow the faith of Matthewism, one must pray to the great demi-God; Pastor Matthew, hallowed be thy name. One must also deface a church of Danielism. And only after those spiritual undertakings, will one be allowed into the divine kingdom of Matthewism.

Wow! I just found out that Adam Sandler is a follower of Matthewism! He's my new favorite celebrity! He's the BEST!

Matthewism by Pastor Matthew November 26, 2021

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matthewitis

Matthew had just licked your hand. You're now infected and you are going to get a bad case of bad grades. GOOD LUCK!

Matthewitis has caused a string of 50s.

matthewitis by AmeerTheDeer November 18, 2016

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Matthewism

1) A type of pun that makes you shake your head in disbelief that it was actually said.
2) A comment from a person that is expected to be taken as the gospel regards of how faulty or unlikely it is simply because of the person who is saying it.

1) While standing at the urinal, one guy says to another, "Having a pissy day?" Reply: Shakes head and replies, "Damn Matthewism."
2) "Well actually, the F-14 Tomcat is the best fighter jet because it is powered by the Commador 64 with a 28 inch floppy drive running at 87.2% capacity." Reply: no audible response necessary.

Matthewism by thriwn_rod January 13, 2015

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Matthewism

To lead people on with comments or made up “facts” to the point that they are not sure if it is true. To babble out false facts like you just finished your doctorate paper on the subject.

Did you know that back in 1954, the same year I was born, is when they had the first live internet porn website? You don’t want to know why I know that fact.

Man taking his wife to laser corrective eye surgery. Honey I have something I have wanted to tell you before you find out because frankly it is inevitable that you will find out on your own soon. So for the last few years something has been happening that I hope you can forgive me for but I really hope you can still love me. Honey now that you will have corrected vision you will finally see that for years now, well, I have been going bald.

If you ever are upset about rodents or insects getting into your house you will be really pissed if you ever have to deal with a cow infestation they get into your crawlspace and walls and are just a bitch to get out. Classic Matthewism

Matthewism by Eno21 February 26, 2008