A God forsaken island forgotten in the middle of the Med. The "hub" of Europe, Malta has been backdoored by every conceivable power that crossed Europe from the Greeks to the Romans, from the Arabs to the Templars, from the French to the Brits with some Vikings, Phoenicians, Carthagenians, Spaniards, Germans, Venitians and Sicilians thrown in to add some spice. In his many travels Marco Polo never came to Malta and Genghis Khan had this to say: "Ah Marrtah! Bin Lei Chat Hai". Hitler vowed to destroy the island and sent the Italians to bomb the island in WWII. Fortunately we dont speak German now and we proudly carry the George Cross for bravery. They say that the last of the Romanhofs fled to Malta.
The Romans said of Malta: Melita, ceteris paribus, paradisum cum bellum qahbum est!
by Tsarina November 29, 2005
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Malta is one of the worst countries in the world. It is full of catholic sluts and bitches. It is also known as the country with the most perversive priests & nuns, as there are many cases of nuns with sprite bottles shoved up their genitals at St.Lukes hospital.
jesus loves malta cos malta is the only country that gives him credit.
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Yea... where can i start, if you come to malta hoping to find a really nice history lesson, then your coming to the right place but if your planning on staying, Stop!, Think about it, and then change your mind, because malta is what you can call a hell hole.
maltese people say that they're not racist but just look at them and you'd see it.
the governments in malta suck big time seeing as it takes them 2 years just to start doing the roads then only do bits every here and there.

the people here are the most nosy, iggronant and 2 faced people your every bound to meet.

picture this 'your sitting on one of there old leyland busses and your phone rings, you pick it up and begin to talk in english' now at this moment every single person on the bus have twisted they're neck round 360 degrees just to nosy at you.

It never snows, if it does snow the houses here would'nt be able to do anything to keep the cold out and everyone would probably freeze to death, because all houses are made out of brick.

malta's radio sucks because they play music that came out over 6 years ago and through the song all the Radio DJ does is yabber on about everything and you cant even hear the song... if your going to talk all the time call it a friggin talk show.

I think the only highlight about malta is their national dish 'timpana'.

maltese shows looks like they're still using the cameras that came out in the 70's.
um... example, just come to malta n see 4 yourself... you'll see every friggin thing i just mentioned on here.
by Translogic April 11, 2006
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Pecker slapping your dog in the face while texting your mom in emojis as a form of secretive talk only because you're too much of a pussy to tell her you're gay and love gay sex with men 60 years or older.
David, quit being a maltas and tell your mom you're gay!!!
by busbarn February 25, 2016
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"Pulse Malta" is a student political organization that is based in Junior College, MCAST and University of Malta. This organization is full of spasticated people that have nothing else to do with their life. The organization considers people as votes and stops talking to their voters once the election is over. Once they are elected they also do nothing to change things within the school. Pulse and other student organizations are hated by most students but there are some spasticated nonces that enjoy their work.
Nathan. "Where do you go to school?"

Kieran. "I go to Junior College and I am with Pulse Malta"

Nathan. "Get away from me you spasticated nonce"
by Il Kbir Albert October 9, 2020
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Portsmouth, a city on the South Coast of the UK, known to many as New Malta following an ad campaign by a British Rail Company inviting people to visit the NEW Malta for fares as little as £1.
Mate! I'd much rather a night out on the razz in New Malta than Scumhampton!
by williamez September 10, 2010
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University of Malta is the top educational institution in malta. MCAST (which is the cheap alternative where one can enter with only 2 or 3 O-levels) is nothing compared to the University of Malta, where 2 A-levels and 3 Intermediates are required. In UOM, the important things are learnt, especially for engineering, where students are actually thought how to be a real engineer, not just how to weld 2 pieces of metal together or fix cars.
UOM student: "Hi, you came for an interview, right?"
MCAST student: "Yes, ai come for intervjuwn"
UOM student: "What qualifications do you have?"
MCAST student: "Ai have 3 O-levels, and a diploma in car fixing"
UOM student: "Ok, thank you, that is enough for today. How would you like to recycle this for me?"
MCAST student: "Orrajt, no problem"
UOM student: *Hands MCAST student's CV* "Thank you, I only accept real engineers from the university of malta"
by UOMguy January 20, 2010
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