Notice: I do not expect everyone to read through all of this. Many will just look at length, weigh their time, and choose not to read (all/any) of it, but I wrote this is mainly for myself and I just wish to share it with others.
In its infathomable depths and its unexplainable mysteries, this is just but a modest attempt by a curious soul to explain the rarest and most beautiful emotion of all…
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New International Version)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
Beautiful, isn’t it? Read it, take it in, and consider the selflessness of love. This is Gods version of love, love as it was intended to be, pure of any outside incentives or ulterior motives. How does it compare to yours?
Just consider true love in the eyes of God compared to the ways of the world, the ways of humans, the ways of family, and the ways of relationships. Love as it was intended to be always puts others interests first.
In love, there is no fear of failure, no jealousy, no mistrust. You are to trust completely, always have faith, never give up, and give your all no matter what the situation calls for. You would not withhold parts of your self for fear of rejection, future embarrassment, or fear of pain; you would share your self in total. Your ego has nothing to do with real love. There is nothing to hide, everything is in the open, your motives are perfectly clear and just as pure. Very simply put, pure love is not about you at all, it is about the one you love.
When you try to protect your own feelings, you cannot possibly have this type of love for anything or anybody. Your heart must be focused on the object of your love, not your own self interests. You cannot possibly keep score of pains that were caused, because you forgive them instantly, the object of concern is not yourself but others. Think of all the marriages and friendships poisoned by the spirit of retribution. When you care about someone else more than yourself, you would gladly be hurt to protect them. Your concern is centered in the others feelings not yours at all, you love them regardless of consequence.
Selfishness has no part at all in real love, it perverts the very nature of love. Consider the example of Christ, he died on the cross out of his love for us. This is love, and sacrifice is part of love, putting others ahead of yourself.
Love edifies the object of love, you want them to grow, you nurture them. You forgive instantly and in total. It is forgotten forever, never to be brought up in a moment of anger. Past wrongs are forgotten, and as hard as it is to forgive and forget, love sees past all flaws.
The purpose of your actions are something outside of yourself. Not a series of cause and effects calculated to elicit a desired response from someone. The term, love is used too often in situations it does not belong, in situations that are not remotely about love.
The superfluous use of the word love in the world today has just become appalling. People saying that they “love” each other days, weeks, and months after meeting each other and can break up just as quickly have, which I’m very sorry to say, a very warped view of love. Love cannot come and go, as many people may think. People do not “fall in and out of love” just like that. A pure and true love is everlasting, and this type of love is very hard to come by nowadays. With a more than a 50% divorce rate in California, who are we to say what love is and is not?
You can never withhold love as a form of punishment, attention and affection are not necessarily love at all. Love is an active choice it is dynamic you live with it or not. Real love is not turned on and off, you must choose to love. You can not buy real love, how could you buy love from someone that is not interested in themselves, they want to give not take. They do not consider themselves, but your interests first, that is real love.
In pure love we care about the object of our love, we do not even consider the cost to ourselves. There is no room for calculation, manipulation or being selfish. Motives are pure, they meet the standards set above. There is no room for possession, control, dominance or any other self motivated behaviors that are so common in relationships. All the common games in relationships are banished from your life, they are beyond consideration. Remember your love is not for your gain but for the gain of the one you love. Your attitude has to view sacrifice as better than self gain. You should much rather be hurt than hurt someone else, remember when you love you protect the one you love, no more “me first.”
If true love is unselfish, and selfishness defines man, then is true love really possible? Yes, and it is the most amazing feat of all. To love and be loved in return is the most marvelous achievement two individuals can come across. Learning to be unselfish cannot be done alone because one cannot learn to love, without striving for love. Very contradictory to the individuality of human nature isn’t it? It is not in the nature of humans to love so purely; and love, love as it was intended, seems impossible to achieve with such imperfection. Humans are, bluntly put…flawed. Though we are individual beings, we are all connected as one. It is in human nature to work together, depend on each other, and learn from each other. Man, as stated by Chapman, is a “social creature,” and we must make use of this connection to bring us higher.
So is selflessness formed after love or does love form after selflessness?
It is neither. Love and selflessness form together, simultaneously. Through a relationship, a bond, and a partnership where each partner learns from the other, living, growing, and sharing experiences together, a bond so strong that it unites two hearts as one. They share joys and sorrows, helping each other through the good and the bad. Essentially what I’m trying to say is that if two hearts become one, then they can be selfish (being an innate human behavior) together. It is the bond of selflessness and love that live within selfishness itself.
Love is there, but it cannot be rushed, nor can it be simply waited for. Take advantage of opportunities and give your all. One man’s work is another’s fate, and if we keep working together, living and learning from each other, growing and laughing, true love can be found. But in the meantime people, take love slow…it’s not going anywhere anytime soon…
That’s it. Straight from the heart.