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Lead Pipe 

An act in where a man sticks a piece of lead from a mechanical pencil into his urethra and has sex with a women or grapefruit, whichever comes first.
I was sitting at home and thought my pineapple deserved a lead pipe so I warmed the pineapple in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes and then poured Siracha hot sauce over it to counteract the lead poison stinging with hot sauce stinging.
Lead Pipe by Ectoplasm_Randy December 23, 2017

Lead pipe 

When shit isn't going your way, so u want to bash your skull with a lead pipe
I got raped by master chef, I wanna smash my skull with a lead pipe
Lead pipe by Dabiglog March 14, 2023

Lead pipe 

The sexual act of whacking someone over the head with a lead pipe then proceeding to fuck them
Lead pipe by Lil boy 2046 June 10, 2023

lead pipe massage 

1)savage physical beating

2)verbal beating, scourned, read her/him the "riot act"
1)he/she got the lead pipe massage while he was walking home from work last night.

2)he/she got the lead pipe massage for being late for the meeting.
lead pipe massage by WstLwnG March 3, 2009

lead-pipe cinch 

In American slang this phrase means a dead certainty.
Homer: I have 50 bucks riding on this game.
Marge: Homer, you promised me!
Homer: This isn't gambling Marge. It's lead-pipe cinch.
lead-pipe cinch by Jara Dosek January 2, 2007

Lead pipe deal 

A lead pipe deal is a deal that is so good that there is no way the agreement came around consensually; the person would have never parted with the item that is the subject matter of the transaction without you having used force
"You got that 2017 BMW for $ 5,000 ?" "Yeah, dude--isn't that a great deal?" "Yeah, man--that's a lead pipe deal."
Lead pipe deal by Campbellcamel August 26, 2017