Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.

The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.

When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.

The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.

Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.

The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.

Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
"The Jonas Brothers are the worst thing to ever walk the earth. What a waste of space and skin."
by trust me, you dont want to kno August 21, 2008
Sexual position in during a gay threesome where the three males fall asleep in a triangle each with someone elses cock in their mouth
While on tour, The Jonas Brothers (Nick, Joe and the other one) had a Jonas Brother, after they fell asleep 5 minutes past their bedtime :O
by Brandouche11 March 09, 2009
Also known as the Jonas Homos, or the JoHoes.

A trio of incestuous, homosexual brothers hailing from Wyckoff, New Jersey. They were signed by the Disney Corporation, and as such have been made to adopt a clean pure boy image.

They wear purity rings as a promise to abstain from sex.

The fanbase is mostly comprised of immature 6-16 year old girls. The older girls want to get with the Jonas Homos, and have thousands of their posters hanging in their rooms and/or lockers. They also sell out the concerts which are way too many.

Haters have cropped up since the advent of these gaylords. Most notably, they can be found on the social networking site Facebook. The biggest, not to mention the fastest growing, hater group is "1,000,000 Strong against the Jonas Brothers."

An ongoing war has occurred between fans and haters. The fans have shot immature remarks at the Haters, and the haters, well, struck right back.

You know you have a fan on your hands when you hear them use the term OMJ instead of OMG. OMJ means, as you may have figured out, Oh My Jonas.

Fun Fact: Nick Jonas suffers from diabetes, which haters comment on often.




Fan: OMJ! I love Nick Jonas. I wanna marry him!!!!!!!!!1!1!!
Hater: STFU! Listen to some real music you stupid ho!

Nick Jonas: OMG, I like have diabetes
Wilford Brimley: No, son, its pronounced dia-beetus.
Nick Jonas: 0.0

Fan: I love the Jonas Brothers
Hater: More like Jonas Homos
Fan: *cries* O<J, ur just jealous!!!!1!!!!
Hater: Why wud i be jealous of those homos? Especially the ones whose hair looks like pubes?
by The Ginger Overlord September 26, 2008
Another example of our generation's poor view on music. It's bad enough to have to listen to their slipshod lyrics and brazen guitar riffs, but then they have the nerve to consider themselves a "rock band". It's not completely the jonas brothers fault, on the contrary it's the fan base that account for 2/3 of the public's anger. The fact that these 10-16 yr old girls try to defend them with little or no logical reason just fuels the public's anger to the point where hating them is a household topic. I'm not saying i hate them personally(even though they claim they're rock when they are straight edge virgins) but don't go and defend them like their the next Nirvana. Their nothing more than a fad that will die when their adults and it's a shame that bands like them and miley cyrus top the charts rather than bands that put effort and time into their albums. America's funny like that
No need, the jonas brothers show it on "On demand" every 5 minutes
by TCS-EB August 17, 2008
A bunch of donkey ass-raping cock munchers and faggots. Their fanbase consists of rabid cock-wielders a.k.a. little immature girls who don't know what music is or what rock is. These butt-pirate fag machines frequently give each other anal backstage. If you have a f*cking brain, you don't like these bag-slapping, disney raping, shit-sucking, cum drinking, homos. F*ck! People, do you know what music is anymore?!?!?!?! These f*cking chastity loving queers are sucking some major cock and yet many do not seem to notice.
Anything Disney is already an epic fail and is scarred for life.

These queers don't play anything in the "rock" genre and yet their fans think they do.

The typical Jonas Brothers fan has a massive shit-covered dick up their ass.
by UrDadsDad December 12, 2008
The three male offspring of a father obsessed with The New Kids on The Block. Currently in his midlife crisis, he misses The New Kids on The Block so much that he drinks because of it. One day he got too drunk and decided to bring back The New Kids On The Block.... Through his children. Through a series of rape, incest, and brainwashing, he turned his kids into The Jonas Brothers, Three kids who were brainwashed into thinking they are The New Kids on the Block. They are now signed up to the disney channel and only appeal to pedophiles and mormon children.
Pedophile: DAMN!!! them Jonas brothers are sexy! I sure wish I was their father.
Mormon kid: Yayy the Jonas Brothers are my favorite band, their so hardcore. I like them because my mom wont let me listen to satanic music like Green Day or Coldplay.
by school_sick_801 December 05, 2008
3 talentless pricks who sing shitty pop songs which 6-17 year old females(and some males) tend to like
girl: OMG!!! I LUV THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!!
boy: OMG SO DO I!!!!!!!
person who likes good music:you guys are retarded listening to them! You dont know good music!!!!
boy and girl:ZOMG SHUT UP! *runs away crying*
by talksomeshit October 09, 2009
Bunch of faggots who take it up the ass everynight. When one of them takes it up the ass, their moans and screams make up a song
Joe: (thrusting Nick up the ass) comeon man think of something

Nick: "OH jESUS" "I love it" "oh god" "love me some more"

Other Jonas: Good work Nick, nice lyrics. Now you 2 pump me in the poop-chute and i'll think of a chorus :)

(After 2 hours of intense anal action, the Jonas Brothers has thought of another shitty ass love song)
by Piple June 17, 2009

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