Top Definition
Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).
Jesus:be nice to others.
by Jonjo January 15, 2005

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260
man (yes, it's amazing that God was a man) who made us, right, and somehow (don't ask me how) made us individuals who can choose what we do, even though He knew it would cost Him - and then figured that since we'd blown it by not listening to Him, and since He knows how empty we are and couldn't imagine eternity without us, died the most painful death so we could be innocent like Him, instead of living lives that suck and ending up in hell (worse than hell on earth). This guy now helps us out if we let Him, and He's the answer to ALL the problems on the earth - you'd think we could give Him a little credit! (ie. admit He's real - but the last big bang my microwave had didn't create a mini universe, so I can deal with that - and let Him give us the answer, start living for something ...)
Jesus is ultra-awesome, and He gives life a purpose!!! And believe it or not, He deserves to have us follow Him (have any of your friends created you & died for you lately, when you hated them, and come back to life ...?).
by Tia April 03, 2005

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261
Jesus was way cool. Everybody like Jesus.
Everybody wanted to hang out with him.
Anything he wanted to do, he did.
He turned water into wine, and if he had wanted to,
He could have turned wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine,
or vitamin pills into amphetamines.
He walked on the water and swam on the land.
He would tell these stories and people would listen.
He was really cool.
If you were blind, or lame, you just went to Jesus and he would put his
hands on you and you would be healed.
That's so cool.

He could have played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could have told the future.
He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could have scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could have danced better than Baryshnikov.
Jesus would have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.

Jesus told people to eat his body and drink his blood.
That's so cool. Jesus was so cool.
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was, so they killed him.

But then he rose from the dead! He rose from the dead, did a little dance, and went up to heaven. I mean, that's so cool. No wonder there are so many Christians.
This weed got me more stoned than jesus on the cross.
by John S. Hall March 03, 2003

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262
A hairy male of the Hispanic origin; A hairy Cholo.
That jesus over there needs to kiss a razor.
by Johnny James June 10, 2007

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263
1. Don't worry it's all good.

2. That is the best or the bomb or the greatest.

3. Calling out your shot or try in a sport that will gain points for you or your team.
1. Yo man, It's all Jesus

2. Did you see that game, it was Jesus.

3. Shoot a basketball then call out: "Jesus" and the ball goes in for points.
by bsbk May 07, 2007

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264
Jesus, Jill or ;dfskldlfkd;sflk a person of owning. Has power of all.
Jesus ruled the world.
by woopingA January 07, 2006

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265
Really just the smartest man in our world's history, with religion aside and beliefs cast out, Jesus was a man with the original indeniable push to "Utopia". He spent his time sharing things to inspire people, to change people's minds about how to treat others. He wanted to make human beings a caring, and for lack of a better reference, a family. Jesus shouldn't have been killed for what he did, but he was because of the same way a lot of people are treated wrong today. The second somebody either disagrees or doesn't understand what somebody else is trying to do/say, they jump at the oppurtunity to thrash at their very existence.
Jesus taught us how to live, taught us how to care, how to love...but nobody listened
by Wawk R October 21, 2005

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266
Jesus of Nazareth, also known as Christ

The greatest, purest, wisest, and nicest liberal to ever live.
If George W. Bush is the greatest conservative ever, and Jesus the greatest liberal. I guess that makes George W. Bush the anti-christ.
by independent July 23, 2005

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