A programming language hated by many C and C++ programmers because of its lack of pointers and pointer arithmetic to directly access memory.
This is because the guys who made Java thought pointers are ZoMG OVERPOWERED! and can be a security threat, so instead they use something called "references". (which C and C++ also have, but pointers are more fun because you can change what they're pointing to, wheras each reference can only reference one, specific thing(and only Java objects) for Java )
C programmer: Fucking Java. It sucks. Not worth my time.
Java programmer: But it's multiplatform!
C programmer: How can you write serious code without pointers? In Java are you actually limited to FØRTRAN style problems: no linked lists, no queues etc?
Java programmer: But...virtual machine!
C programmer: Which is why it's so slow.

Random gang member walks in: yo dawg i heard you like operating systems, so we put a virtual machine in your machine so you can process data while processing

C programmer: Get a job!
by LæT H4CK3R February 04, 2011
Slang for anal sex. Javascript works across all systems, as anal sex works across all people. Hence: Java=Anal Sex.
Ex 1: Dude, I convinced her to have java with me last night. It was so awesome until her IBS kicked in. I'm still scraping chocolate pudding off of my popsicle stick.

Ex2: Oh gross! Those two guys are having java in public in BROAD DAYLIGHT!
by Count Zurich May 10, 2009
A very high caffinated fuck, and or a fucking woahhh.. while drinking an espresso.
I just did the java last night, dude.
by Guava number 3 November 03, 2011
Java is an object-oriented programming language designed by James Gosling. It inherits much of its syntax from C.

The primary design goal of the Java language is 'write once, compile once, run anywhere' portability. A Java program can be written and compiled, and can then be run on any system that the JVM (Java Virtual Machine) has been ported to.

Java source code is often compiled to byte-code to be run by the JVM, although native-code compilers do exist.

Contrary to popular belief, Java is very fast, outperforming C in a few well-documented cases. However, the Java Virtual Machine will always consume more resources than the runtime support required by 'lower-level' languages like C.

Java compilers tend to be very careful about 'trusting the programmer' - this is often a cause for frustration among new users of the language. By and large, it forces better programming style.

The Java Runtime Environment is plagued by licensing restrictions that make it difficult to deploy in some scenarios (for example, on a free operating system). Projects like OpenJDK and GNU Classpath attempt to make this less painful.

Java is often viewed as 'nooby' because Java code is (usually) run on a virtual machine. I guess Python, C#, Perl, Smalltalk, and Prolog are 'nooby' too. ;)
Java is a popular programming language.

That program is written in Java.
by >:-D July 02, 2011
The bastard child of C++ that nobody wants.
Look at that Java written application. It's so slow and resource consuming...
by Qbert June 29, 2005
Putting coffee beans up someone's ass before performing anal sex.
Tom was upset after being Java'd, as he typically prefers decaf.
by dingus_brody August 11, 2011
One of the best drinks ever put on this earth.
I need a cup of java.
by Kompassion Kid September 02, 2005

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