An extremely lovable guy who will go out of his way to make you laugh. Diet consists mainly of BBQ sauce & jager bombs. Likes to entertain himself by playing w/ his own or my butt crack. My cuddle partner for life.
Jared: jager bomb?
Me: What the hell are you doing?
Jared: Smelling my fingers
Me: Why?
Jared: Because they smell crack-tastic
Me: Of course they do
Jared: Let's go bowling
Jared yelling out the car window: I'M IN MIAMI BITCH!!
by squirt812 March 23, 2009
A reluctant sword smith, women tend to trip over their tongues as he passes by. usually reviled by other males for having mythical penis girth. Usually compared to god like figures such as Zeus and Thor.

one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite.
probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis.
Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day.

Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
Fuck! I thought he was at the fortress of solitude! I better leave town, I heard he wants to fuck my wife and sister!

"Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?
by Rooster 00027 May 28, 2011
Jareds tend to be very tall, and very attractive. They have a hipster style, mixed with a little bit of rock. Jareds usually are very intelligent, and can be very overprotective in a serious situation. He knows how to treat a girl, and can always tell how girls feel just by hearing their voices. If you ever start dating a Jared, never let him go.
Girl 1: Did you see what Jared is wearing today?

Girl2 2: omg, yes! He's so adorable! I just want to take off his beanie and ruffle his hair!

Girl 1: I know right!

Girl 2: If he ever asks me out its a definite yes!
by nickiminajared December 28, 2012
Jareds are skittish. They normally play drums and are very strong and cute. They get upset easily, but that's okay if you can handle him. If you fall in love with a Jared, BEWARE: They are heartbreakers
Girl 1: Wow, Jared is so cute...
Girl 2: Yeah He blew up at me through text last night..
Girl 3: Who cares! Look at them abs!!!
by Princess_BlondieBaby December 01, 2012
An amazing guy. He will go out of his way to make you laugh and he has gorgeous blonde hair. His beautiful green eyes can see all the way into my soul. He is so playful and kind, if you ever meet him, lucky you.
I have a massive crush on Jared.
by GreenFour2000 December 29, 2013
Young, metrosexual man usually associated with sports such as Water Polo and Gymnastics. Has a perfect posture and excels at sport.
That guy is such a Jared!
by pseudonym12312 July 27, 2012
Ditching your bros for a girl.
I hate to pull a Jared man, but she wants to go to the medieval fair.
by ballistic_balls March 23, 2012

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from We'll never spam you.