The worst fucking goddamn show on television at the moment, wait no not even at the moment because the fucking thing was cancelled thank god. This 'TV show' consisted of a Walrus disguised as a human forcing her 6 year old daughter to attend beauty pageants, yes you fucking heard correctly, this terrible excuse for a mother gives me a reason to hate America, and I fucking love America, but this atrocity caused me to hate families like this, the whole goddamn family is so overweight they could be compressed and turned into a wrecking ball, its like they deep-fry lard for their breakfast, lunch and sodding dinner. This is honestly how the rest of the world sees America, not like the normal fucking people there, no, they see Americans as overweight opportunists who would take their 15 minutes of fame and do anything to milk it dry for as long as possible, and don't even get me started on the 'Go-Go Juice'. This fucking thing screams "SPONTANEOUS SEIZURE" in a bottle, you know what this fucking- this- THING contains? Red Bull, Mountain Dew and PURE FUCKING GASOLINE, and a 6 year old is drinking it?- Now I would start calling the Morgue, the FBI, the Police, and the CPA because that shit is UNACCEPTABLE!I just hate this show so much. You know what I'd rather watch? Fucking Justin "I wish you were aborted" Bieber stroking Jennifer Lawrence while licking his lips and staring passionately at the camera, now i know that would never happen but still, I'd rather watch that than... THIS!
"These other girls are crazy if they think they can beat Honey Boo-Boo child"- Honey Boo Boo, Yes insert the fucking facepalm and loss in faith of humanity here.
A sexual deviation where two or more obese people eat an extraordinary amount of food, throw up on each other, and proceed to fuck each others' brains out; Then, one swallows the other's sperm, to make it "sweeter than bacon, child!"
Big Bessie and I Honey Boo Boo'd so slick last night, she gagged on my sweet bacon twice.