Top Definition
Ancient Teutonic word meaning 'man with the big sword'. As a name it was usually bestowed upon clan leaders. The Hessel of a clan was privileged to have multiple wives, and was allowed to entertain the wives of other clan members at will in intercourse as part of his privileges.
'My wive is unable do the shopping today, she cannot walk due to the Hessel she received in her hut last night'
by Freddy3 August 09, 2006

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To be extremely well "equipped" in the pants. (aka big penis)

From German and Ancient Teutonic descent

Those Hessels put the whole neighborhood to shame.
by echolopia September 28, 2006

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'To Hessel' means: to masturbate while thinking of anal sex with animals.

"dude, the ass of that dog makes me horny. I'd really like to Hessel right now!"
by Hessel August 10, 2006

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt