Haskey

A person of high self importance found in low level corporate positions, frequently found telling co-workers what to do whilst being clueless themselves. Haskeys are found in most workplaces and are suspected, yet not confirmed, to spend many hours a night masturbating over pictures of themselves

Bill - "Dude, that guy who completely loves himself keeps talking like he's my manager. Doesn't he do the same job as us?"
Sam - "Totally. What a complete Haskey"