GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.

Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.

Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020

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Goonerbating

Masturbating for long periods often extending past 6 hours.

Goonerbaters normally have no social life because they masturbate for hours on end.

"K.Quigs missed class because he was having a goonerbating session with a heard of pig dools."

see "pig dool."

Goonerbating by Polyester Pigdool Patterson March 10, 2011

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gooner

a supporter of the London based football team, Arsenal FC

The Gooners hate Manchester United.

gooner by Anthony Nguyen August 22, 2004

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