A god is a supreme being who will give you good stuff if you honor them. They will screw you if you dis them.
A god is not to be confused with God.
God is one dude.
A god is any of a number of dudes.
All gods put together, do the same work as God.
The water god, the fire god, the fertility god, the pizza god.
There are also godesses. The fertility goddess and fertility god are joined together at the crotch.
If you pray to God, you go to heaven.
If you pray to a god, you get what they specialize in.
Pray to the pizza god, and you get a tasty pizza.
Pray to the fire god, and he gives you some wood to rub together, or a lighter.
Tom: "I wish we had a baby."
Lucy: "Me too. I guess I should pray to the fertility god."
Tom: "While you're at it, pray to the fertility godess too."
Lucy: "pray, pray, pray. pray. O great god and godess of the giant womb in the sky, please get me knocked up."
Later--
Tom: "Holy shit Lucy! I'm getting a big boner."
Lucy: "O my fucking god. I'm getting horny and wet in my vagina."
Tom: "What the hell is going on? What do I do with this boner?"
Lucy: "O Tom, place your giant penis inside me, and we shall make a baby."
hump, hump, hump.
Later-
Tom: "I think I'l pray to the cigarette god for a pack of Camel Lights."
Lucy: "and I'll pray to the god of fire for a lighter."
Tom: "I'll pray to the pizza god for a family size anchovie and jalapeno double cheese hand tossed pizza."
God: "Thou shalt have no gods before Me! To Hell with you!"
Tom and Lucy: "O God Damn!"
POOF!
by morningwould January 04, 2013
A guy who talked to some Jewish guys, some Christian guys, and some Islam guys, and accidentaly caused more people to die than anyone else in human history.
And people wonder why he doesn't talk much to us anymore.
by Squeed March 07, 2005
The reason I passed math.
Bless the lord! For I got a 65!
by Rattlesnake316 January 09, 2005
The universal scapegoat for forces yet to be explained, originating back to when man thought the wind was Satan farting.
Uuhhhmmmm... God did it?
by Lanan May 14, 2005
the most popular star in human history. loved, hated, or talked about by almost every person ever walked on earth.
theist: 'i love god, i think he's cool.'
atheist: 'god is a ridiculous idea, he doesn't even really exist.'
by eci December 29, 2005
The main character in the fiction work "The Bible."
And God replied: I am Who Am.
And Moses quickly corrected him saying that it should be I am Who Is. But God never was any good at grammar.
by Joe from DP February 06, 2005
Large angry fairy-pixie in the sky. Refuses to show any evidence of his existence but will sentence you to an eternity of pain and burning if you do not accept it.
Abe was a good man, but he used God's name in vain, so he burned forever and ever.
by Rap Scholar March 28, 2005
An entity whose opinions on the consumption of pork has been a matter of hot debate amongst the world's religions.
Jew: "YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork."

Christian: "No He doesn't! Jesus and Paul took that law back a little while later."

Muslim: "Yes, He does forbid it, the Jew is right for once! Allah made this very clear 600 years after Jesus and Paul were alive!"

Pagan:"No, the gods do not forbid eating pork. In fact, we have to throw the bones of our slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire to scare the demons away!"

Hindu:"Not true, the Dharmic law forbids eating any meat, including pork. Eating pork will only anger the gods."

Atheist:"I can't believe we're actually talking about stuff like this..."
by Jack Torrance-Overlook Hotel January 10, 2009

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