Top Definition
fuckwank n, The name given to a gathering of underqualified management personnel putting together strategies and/or policies. Sometimes known as an offsite. The word 'offsite' is managerial fuckwank.

fuckwank adj, Describes a communication delivered by someone trying to disguise their own self importance and justification of existence by pretending to distribute sensible information.

fuckwank adv, Commonly used by under qualified mangers and human resources personnel, fuckwank describes the neuro-linguistic drivel used as an attempt to distract and detract from dealing with the true issue at hand.
n, 'Where are the management team? I haven't seen them all week.'
'Didn't you hear? They're off on a fuckwank'.

adj, 'Did you read that last memo from the boss? It was total fuckwank!'

adv, 'Sorry boss, I'm going to have to ask you to shut up. You're talking fuckwank!'
by hisssssss April 18, 2009

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to masturbate while replicating the actions and motion of intercourse, for example by thrusting against a rolled-up pillow.
i saw Thatcher on tv the other day, and had to rush upstairs for a fuck wank.
by Dunky Oggins October 28, 2003

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A person who cannot be described solely as a fucker or a wanker and instead is referred to as a fuck wank.
Matthew Baird is a fuck wank.
by Oxford warrior August 24, 2011

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When you have to be hand relieved by your partner after intercourse after you've brought them to climax (possibly several times over) and they are too tired to continue.
Mate 1: How'd things go with that chick last night?

Mate 2: Man, she was so loose I had to settle for a fuck-wank and go to sleep.
by Bazildon P February 26, 2009

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basically a fucking wanker
get lost you stupid little fuckwank!
by jintwin June 01, 2005

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1) Often used as an insult to people who force their presence upon you just because you know them.
2) General curse
1) Person with frinds: 'Get lost you fuckwank!'
2) 'Oh fuckwank! I got pwnd by a noob
by Andrew Hudson May 11, 2008

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Imagining having sex whilst masturbating.

Only really appropriate for people that generally imagine something other than sex, and so rarely useful.
Some odd bastard: 'I had a fuckwank the other day.'

His similarly-minded buddy: 'You sick freak!'
by rob o'cop August 18, 2006

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