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From "Monty Python"

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word fuck. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...fuck is the only word refered to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the english language is derived from german ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.
In english, fuck falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for intance ...John fucked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb...Shirley fucks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun ...I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word ...absofuckinglutely -or- infuckingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence ...Fuck the fucking fuckers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud ...I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay ...ahhh fuck it.
Trouble ...I guess I'm really fucked now.
Agression ...Don't fuck with me buddy.
Difficulty ...I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry ...Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetance ...He's a fuck-off.
Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself...

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word. We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
...FUCK YOU!
See examples above...
by Bombadil November 05, 2004
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2
When a penis is injected into a pussy or anus and vigorous pounding occurs
Kiersten : Oh Jake! I just love when you sneak up behind me and kiss my neck!
Jake : Well you just wait till after work i'll be kissing more then just your neck!
Chad : Wow Kiersten I remember when I used to kiss your naked body and Fuck your soft pussy after work!
Kiersten : Wow Chad why don't you go home and Fuck your wife after work!
Chad : Uh Gross!
by SlopNChop July 05, 2017
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3
1. The universally recognized "F word"
2. N. Implying complete and utter confusion
3. N. a really stupid person
4. V. To procreate
5. adj. Can be used to modify any word for more passion
6. Int. Expresses disgust
7. Int. Expresses complete suprise and joy
8. adv. Can be used to make a command more urgent
1. I do not accept the "F word" as your name
2. What in the fuck?
3. You stupid fuck!
4. I sugest we go fuck in your mothers bed while eating crackers and petting a cat name mittens!
5. This fucking guy was so fucking weird. He asked me if I was fucking insane.
6. Aw, FUCK!!
7. Holy fuck! You guys rock!
8. Just fucking jump before I fucking kick you in the balls!
by Cheese-man April 05, 2003
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4
........................./´¯/)
......................,/¯..//
...................../..../ /
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´(..´......,~/'...')
.........\.................\/..../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\

Translation: Fuck you.
by EJL February 17, 2004
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5
When two people connect there private parts together and create pleasure!
Beth : It was so nice to see you and your family together at church yesterday you should go more often!
Chad : Yeah I have to work a lot of Sunday's but it's such a rewarding feeling to get in touch with the lord!
Kiersten : Hey Chad I think I left my panties in your bed Saturday night could you bring them by my place after work.
Beth : O My God do you Fuck another women besides your wife?
Chad : Hell no I Fuck many women besides my wife!
Beth : You god damn dirty asshole I hope you go to hell!
Chad : Wow what A dirty mouth you have guess I will see you there!
Beth : And I bet you don't even work on Sunday's either!
Chad : Hey sex is work I only have 4 hours to Fuck 5 women and 2 guy's!
Beth : You fuck guy's too AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
by SlopNChop March 12, 2017
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6
The standard unit of measurement used to describe the amount an individual cares about something.

Fucks are an unofficial part of the metric system and follow the same rules. ie: one-thousand fucks are equal to one kilofuck.

The fuck is almost always used to describe how little someone cares about something and the amount of fucks someone gives can be detected by a fuck-o-meter.
Guy 1: You ready for the spanish exam today?
Guy 2: nope.
Guy 1: I was up studying all night and I'm still screwed.
Guy 2: I give... zero fucks.
*Fuck-o-meter confirms 0 fucks given*
by No fucks given July 17, 2011
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7
"Fuck" is perhaps the most versatile and most-used word in the English language. It can relate anger, surprise, dismay, joy, and a variety of other emotions. It is also quite commonly used as a word of emphasis or description, often with comical effect. For some good examples, refer to "English as a Second Fucking Language," by Sterling Johnson, which can be found on Amazon.com. Also check out comic Dane Cook's take on the word.

Also, on a rather interesting note, I read somewhere that fucking once described an act in which a person who sowed/planted seeds in a field, and those particular people were referred to as fuckers.

NOTE:

The guy who quoted Monty Python had it wrong. I believe the quoted text is attributed to George Carlin.
Why don't you go play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?

I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Fine, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, UN-fuck you!

Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck." You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat-ass!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: Fuck!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... (picks up a megaphone) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS?
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
-from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut-
by LordOfTheCynics December 10, 2006
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