An infernal peninsula, jutting out the southeast edge of the U.S.A. like a disgusting tumour. It consists mainly of weak people from the Northeast and Midwest who left classy, excellent areas like New York, Chicago, or Connecticut, their children who were raised here or forced here and are getting out at the first opportunity possible, native Floridians who are a bunch of miserable hicks and wear camo jackets and crap to high school, and immigrants who stay here because this is where they happen to be, and would probably get out very quickly if they found out what the rest of the country has to offer.

The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.

For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.

The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.

Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.

With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.

As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.

The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
"We were thinking of moving to Florida"
"Don't"
by d.c.r. September 14, 2009
Florida, the one place where the father north you go, the father south you end up. Always has and always will be filled with old people, fucking tourists and us rednecks. Great place to live if you in enjoy the shitty education, hot, hot and hotter weather, hurricanes,humidity, fatasses in speedo's, sea lice and tourists all year round. But if you can get past all of the shitty stuff, then its not so bad. My current home state and has been for my whole life. some of the good things about living in florida includes:: you can spend the whole day at disney and drive home the same day, i personally only own 2 pairs of shoesthe rest are flip-flops, were not as stuck up as you think, most of us who do live here live in towns most people who live in north florida have never heard of. It's here where you'll find your rednecks. We live for friday nights when we can get rowdy at the football game,even though we all know our tems not gonna break the 40 game losing streak, but that doesnt stop us. We live for the after partys of any semi-major/major event. Everyone knows all the good back roads to go down so you dont get caught drinking, and when you do get caught, everyone in the whole town includeing your parents know within 10 mintues. Hardly any of us down here use any other type of phone besides the nextel direct connect. if you use anythnig else, your labeled as a fucking loser. This is where we pray for it to rain during the week to that the mudholes fill up and where if you dont show up at c&n, it better be b/c someone died. this is where everyone has a gun in their truck, not for protection, but in case an alligator trys to eat your dog. Down here in florida everything we eat is all natural, for meat: we got plenty of cows and wild hogs in our back yard. For Drinks:: go out and pick the oranges and lemons growing in your front yard, or whip yup some of that good old swwet tea. we have it all here.

There's a saying my old math teacher used to say, and can be only used for people who live in my town, Lake Placid, or as we refer to it, the L-TO THE-P! the people who live here are very proud of our town,where every weekend we're out on one of the 15 or more lakes in town. lp, which has a pop. of about 1000-2000 people, and home of the caladium captiol of the world bitchess!

the saying the goes for us hicks heer in lp goes something like this,

eat more beef, drink more orange juice and buy more caladiums, its good for the soul!

Florida isnt the sunshine state, its the gunshine state.
by Lovin the Sunshinee July 10, 2008
The hell-hole I live in. The place where if you can't get a job at McD's, you decide to become a cop. The place that that moron George W's brother is governor. The place where Jeb Bush could not answer a math question that was on the 10th grade FCAT (standardized test). The place where there are very few smart people. The most popular place for hurricanes to hit in the country. The place where old people come to die. The place where spring-break kids come and party, get busted by the idiot cops, and then never leave. The place with beautiful beaches and morons on them.
The place that is inhabited by Spanish-speaking people, MORONS, more morons, idiot cops, old people who can't drive, spring break kids who can't drive, more morons, cops who break the law every day, more morons, some rednecks (like me), and VERY few intelligent people (like me).
This is the place that George W. originally said he "didn't need", but then had his brother steal it for him even thought Gore won the popular vote. The place where all the morons live, and the smart people can't find a way out because the idiots hinder their every move.
Also called the Sunshine state, although it rains almost every day.
Also called Hell's waiting room.
1:"Hi, I'd like to work here."
2:"What's your IQ?"
1:"Forty!"
2:"Sorry, you can't work at McDonalds. Why don't you try the police station down the street?"

1:"I have to go to Florida to visit my grandparents."
2:"I love you, man. I'll see ya in heaven."

1:"Did you take the FCAT?"
2:"No, I'm a Bush. I don't have to."

"Do you speak English?"
"No."

Cop:"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
You:"No."
Cop:"Awww, dammit. I thought one of us would know. Oh, well. You ran a red light, okay? We'll say you ran a red light. Here's your ticket."

"What's our nation's capital?"
"Ummm...Miami?"

"What do you want to do today?"
"Ooh, let's play Bingo! I haven't done that since I had a heart attack last time I won! That was almost two months ago!"

"Oh, these beaches are beautiful."
"Yeah, will you still think so Tuesday?"
"What happens Tuesday?"
"That's when the hurricane is gonna hit."
"Which hurricane?"

"I got a 340 on the SAT!"
"Wow! That's good! I only got a 420!"
by Perple September 17, 2004
The OTHER Hell, I live in Florida so I know what I'm talking about. Old people everywhere, everbody drives like they never passed driver's ED., It's like a friggin' desert here, despite the humidity which makes it suck even more. Florida is full of preps, people on ritalin, and various Jack-offs.
When Billy died, he went to Florida.
by I HATE Florida October 26, 2003
a place that is full of old people and hot girls. Known for its Beaches and warm summers.
person1: Florida sucks man. nothing there but old people.
person2: that only half of florida. the rest is hot girls.
by Bam June 29, 2003
God's Waiting Room

lol
A south east state in the U.S.

florida
by sadg! February 12, 2006
state filled with rip-off tourist destinations, old geezers, and a fucked-up election
In Florida, old people played bingo
by 0000 October 16, 2003
Bad drivers—particularly retired New Yorkers--who get their drivers license from a Cracker Jack box.

Grumpy, old people--particularly retired New Yorkers--with a bad attitude.

Electile dysfunction where people can’t even poke a small hole thru a ballot card.

People migrating to its shores in inner tubes.

Corporate executives and CEOs golfing.

Babes

Bods

Beaches

There’s nothing like Panama City during spring break.

Disney World

Too many tourists that irritate the hell out of those who live there.

The country’s best marijuana and crack.

Stupid people rebuilding there home every year after a major hurricane. (get a clue)

Need I say more??

Florida is a nice state to visit, but God help you if you want to live there. Dollars generated from tourism doesn't bring intelligence. This state needs serious help.
by krock1dk May 24, 2008

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