Identical in appearance to your average Abraham Lincoln, an Evil Lincoln differs only in that he is entirely evil, with absolutely no moral core. Will kill abundently and pointlessly, wherever and whenever possible. Some varients sport glowing red eyes. Often roars "RAAARGH!" as he attacks. Their motivations and aims remain unknown, as anyone attempting to analyse them is normally murdered brutally and repeatedly. Some eyewitnesses claim Robotic Evil Lincolns exist, but this is unlikely and scary.
"Hey, Jackio, wanna hire Die Hard and get a pizza in? I feel like eating Ital- ARGHH!! NO! NO! My splean! GOD HELP ME! EVIL LINCOLN!! Please, God, let me - ARGHHH!!! NOT THE VARIOUS GUTS!!! Glughh.."
"Dude, you ok? Dude?"
"Dude, you ok? Dude?"
by Horace Wimp November 7, 2006