While driving down the interstate, there was no obvious reason to take a pit stop; however, after approaching the sign that read "Next Service Area - 24 miles," then the onset of
intestinal distress occurred, as I passed the sign.
I clenched my ass cheeks as tightly together as my gluteal muscles would permit, rolled down the windows, turned off the heater and radio, and asked all occupants to "
shut the fuck up" until these embryonic manifestations of defecation subsided.
Unfortunately, this didn't happen, as I unleashed with a rectal fury and shit my drawers!