Crusty Muffin

When someone with a mustache (male or female), administers oral sex on a female and lets the vaginal fluids crustify onto the mustache.

"Jimbo grew a mustache in anticipation for his inaugural crusty muffin."

by The PGP January 18, 2010

Crusty Muffin

To eat a girl out. As in oral sexual intercourse with a female. Commonly related to a "muff dive".

Matt:"Dude, I totally ate a crusty muffin last night!"
Kevin:"Really, was it warm, fresh and tasty? Did you spell out the alphabet??"

by Matt (Crusty Muffin Man) June 2, 2007

crusty blood muffin

When the anal cavity is penetrated with such viciousness that it pulls the rectal out; creating a hemroid that resembles the top of a muffin that is bloody and crusty with semen.

Mahyn, I just got the worst crusty blood muffin.

by Jamoocaba February 4, 2010

Crusty Muffin

A crusty muffin is a slang term for a very unclean vagina. Typically with flakes of crusty skin, dried semen, dried discharge, or any other patina of std origin.

I almost picked up a hooker last night. I saw she had a crusty muffin, so I had to flee.

by victim of s.d.s.r December 12, 2023