Crap and Fap

To use the excuse of having to take a dump as an opportunity to masturbate

Josh: Hey I'll be right back; gotta poo.

Spencer: Heh, I bet he's doing a crap and fap.

by JMGraham January 5, 2009

Crap N' Fap

The act of taking a dump and then masturbating.

Greg, "Hey John you wanna hang today?"

John, "Yea man, I'll be over as soon as I do a quick Crap N' Fap"

by Fapking October 30, 2011

crap n' fap

When on the john, taking a shit, you suddenly have the urge to masturbate. Prevalent in adolescent males.

I was taking a shit, then out of nowhere I got a boner and proceeded to crap n' fap.

by ipodtouchmasttterr May 21, 2009

Crap Fap

Alternate slang for the act of masturbation or "fapping" but using diarrhea as lubricant.

Jack N. Off: "Masturbating is getting too expensive these days. I can't afford KY."
Ijer Kit: "Start crap fapping. Diarrhea is free, isn't it?"

by Ching Mang Wong February 17, 2009

Crap Fap

A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.

Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.

by KatoDado September 6, 2009