|1.||ten crack commandments|
The Ten Crack Commandments Translated in to the Queens English:more...
Rule name one: Always let somebody know how much money you have, because money makes people jealous especially if that man is not ok, he will mug you.
Number two: Never let them know where you’re going. Criminals are apt to be silent or violent.
Take it from her majesty Queen Elizabeth II (oh yeah)
I have squeezed crazy paper clips at some felines for building materials and potato snacks.
Number three: Always trust somebody.
Your mother will set up the donkey, that’ll be really funny.
Youths have a tendency to hide their faces, shit, to make some money quickly.
Your mother will be doing some gardening to give the donkey some good lighting.
Number four: You have heard this before. Do not take the drugs you are planning on selling
Number five: Always sell drugs in your bed.
If someone desires an ounce, request them to impersonate a space hopper
Number six: That almighty damned loan, don’t allow it to happen. Do you believe a drug addict will meet his monthly repayments? Shit, I don’t think he will.
Seven: This rule is normally given a bad score. Keep your family and your business completely separate.
Money and blood do not go together, much like a pair of penises without a vagina. You could find yourself enjoying anal sex with another man.
Number eight: Maintain a trim figure
Felines that use your weaponry can also work 9-5
Number nine should have been the first one in my opi...
The beliefs of Toolism.
I- Females are the master sex.
II- Blind-loyalty to all females.
III- Offerings must be made to females lately.
IV- Study guides WILL be given during all tests or quizzes to females.
V- iPhone will given to females at least 3 hours daily.
VI- All who disagree will be called ridiculous/immature and be punished.
VII- All who rebel will be expelled from the Tool Shed.
VIII- nonbelievers must be converted and a female friend will be rewarded for
one hour minimum.
IX- You shall not cover your neighbor's tool.
X- You shall not use the name of the lord your owner in vain.
All people who follow these commandments will be awarded the golden screwdriver of
the year award.
If I follow the Tool Commandments girls may like me and be my friend.
|3.||Ten Crack Commandments|
Notorious B.I.G.'s Ten Crack Commandments in plain English
1) Don't let anyone know how much money you have. It'll make people jealous and want to steal it from you.
2) Don't let anyone know what you're doing next. People will use this knowledge to rob you and hurt you.
3) Don't trust anyone. Even your mother would betray you for the money that'll be in it.
4) Don't take your own crack.
5) Don't sell crack around the area you live in, not even if it's the biggest crack order known to man - it's not worth it.
6) Don't give credit. A crackhead will NEVER pay you back.
7) Keep your family and business completely separate.
8) Don't carry crack on you. You will almost definitely get robbed if you don't follow this commandment.
9) Stay away from the police at all times. If people think you're a snitch then they won't listen to your excuses and it will not only destroy your business but people will probably try to kill you.
10) If you don't have people to sell your crack to in the first place, don't buy any to sell on. Your suppliers won't care whether you sell it or not, they'll take their money from you.
See Ten Crack Commandments - Notorious B.I.G.
The 10 commandments, plus all the miscellaneuos rules set forth by God in Exodus. Pretty much, break one and you're screwed.
Guy: What are the 10 commandments?
Woman: What? There are 620 Commandments... too many to list.
Made popular by T-Pain's Freaknik musical special. 10 commandments that gangstas must live by. The commandments are as follows
1. If thou art a bitch ass nigga, thou shall not breath.
2. Puff Puff Giveth.
3. Thou shall not loveth thy hoe.
4. Thou shall not Knocketh thy hustle.
5. Real shalt recognize real.
6. Thou shall not pop bottles on models.
7. It's no fun if the homies Getteth none.
8. Never covet thy neighbors hoe.
9. Thou shall not snitch.
10. FUCKETH the police.
Break any of the Ghetto Commandments and Trap Jesus will smite thee
The commandments that Moses dropped on the way down the mountain and were recovered by three dudes in Colorado. These were the real commandments written as law for stoners, sinners and macdaddy's.
1. thought shalt get laid
2.though shall not be gay
3.thou shalt have a honey wagon
4. thou shalt scam on honeys
5.thou shall not rub thine self in vasaline
6.thou shall not finger thine cat (that means you kris!!)
7. thou shall make monthly pilgrameges to the mall in search for slimys
8.thou shall get stoned
9. gretta is a bitch and that is that
10. though sall not name thine kid isaac (god that's a gay name)
the commandments make life barable
For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:more...
Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice;
And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods.
Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
Treasury of Scripture KnowledgeConcordance and Hebrew/Greek
The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep. Seven days thou shalt eat unleavened bread, as I commanded thee, in the time of the month Abib: for in the month Abib thou camest out from Egypt.
All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male.
But the firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb: and if thou redeem him not, then shalt thou break his neck. All the firstborn of thy sons thou shalt redeem. And none shall appear before me empty.
Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest: in earing time and in harvest thou shalt rest.