EVERYONE seems to have provided either a partially or entirely inaccurate definition of what a Cleveland Steamer actually is. This classic and creative move is indeed a way to ensure that any desired break-up with a particular girl is accomplished without chance of reconciliation! Okay, THIS is how to perfectly execute a Cleveland Steamer: First, get your soon-to-be-ex drunk to the point of passing out. This serves two purposes. One, it allows you to precisely carry out the defecation on her chest without protest. Two, it almost assures that, because she drank so damn much, she will be even MORE sickened by the stench when she wakes in the morn. But back to the instructions. After passing out, the victim (girl) must be carefully placed in her bed with the covers pulled back. At this time, strip off her top and lay the longest, smokiest and smelliest logs possible directly on, around and between her tits. One may prep for this by eating lots of green vegetables, collard greens in particular, then smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes and eating jalapeno poppers at the same time. After dropping your shit pudding on her chest, and this is very important, pull the covers (preferably including at least two wool blankets and a down comforter) up over her head. If need be, leave her nostrils uncovered so that she won't suffocate. Then, after "blanketing" the smoking poo on her chest with as many covers as are available, turn the thermostat in her room up as high as it will go. If you can run that heat upwards of 90-95 degrees, DO IT! After a night of her poo pot pie literally baking on her chest under the multi-layered covers AND with a room temp of around 90 degrees, she will indeed wake to the smell in this steamy sauna of shit that will make her WISH she was engulfed by the smell of something much more tolerable, like the stench of rotting possum carcasses in the desert heat. THIS, my friends, is the REAL Cleveland Steamer!!!
"I hated Candace's sorry ass so much that I thought I was actually gonna have to kill her to get rid of that nagging bitch once and for all. Fortunately, I cleverly decided to use the ole Cleveland Steamer ploy, which both got rid of her for good and kept me from going to prison! Cleveland Steamers rock, man!!!"
#poo pies #tit shits #breakup #stinky #steaming
by Larry Tird August 03, 2009
When a man takes a shit on a girl's chest after or when they are having sex.
Cleveland Steamer: The man gets on top of the girl and takes a shit on her chest. Simple as that.
#cleveland steamer #shit #lesbian #gay #crap #bitch
by pspfreak9689769 September 22, 2009
New nickname for LeBron James
dude: "LeBron chose Miami?"
Other Dude: "Yeah, he pulled a real Cleveland Steamer"
#basketball #miami #lebron #james #dis
by snallygaster2 July 09, 2010
A Cleveland Steamer is an act where somebody shits on their soon-to-be ex's chest and rub their ass back and forth on their chest like a steamroller. This act is usually for revenge.
Me: Did you hear?!
You: What?
Me: Katie had a Cleveland steamer done to her last night by her now ex-boyfriend Michael!
You: Hell, no!
Me: It was horrible. A shower won't work. She's gotta go to a carwash to get rid of the smell.

You: Poor Katie.
Michael- That stupid bitch deserved it! i suspected her of cheating. I didn't need Maury. i know!! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH MICHAEL!!!

Katie didn't cheat, and she returned the act, but two obese men did it for her. Michael is now the worst smelling man in America, and no girl will go out with him. Hell, no girl will go near him.
#shit #crap #steamroller #joke #revenge
by Junkyard Squirrel August 17, 2010
Normally known for excreting fecal matter upon another's chest.

Also more popularly known for the Decision of 2010, where Lebron James pulled down his pants and excreted his fecal matter all upon the city of Cleveland (metaphorically speaking), as he turned his back on the city and team which ignored his calls and plights for a stronger cast of players around him after 5 years of waiting. A very controversial issue which the Cavs will never recover from.
Guy1: Did you hear the news about the Cleveland Cavs??
Guy2: Lebron leaving the Cleveland Steamer on the city??
Guy1: Yeah, they will never be able to recover from that one

Girl1: Mike just gave me the Cleveland Steamer
Girl2: Eww you let him poop on you??
Girl1: No, he turned his back on me after 5 long years of dating, maybe i shouldn't have kept ignoring him.....
Girl2: Oh kind of like the cleveland cavs and lebron james thing?
Girl1: totally like that
#cleveland #steamer #lebron james #lbj #the king #poop #feces #fecal matter #excrete #crap #shit #doodoo
by LBJ6 Lover July 20, 2010
When a man defecates into a woman's mouth following intercourse, covers her mouth with plastic wrap (Saran Wrap), and then proceeds to poke a hole in the plastic wrap. The resulting steam from the warm shit gives rise to the term Cleveland Steamer.
I had an amazing fuck with Jimmy's mom, then proceeded to give her a Cleveland Steamer.
#mississippi mudsline #shit #chili dog #butt sex #cleaveland steamer
by DR ARES March 09, 2011
Oh, come on. You all know it's when you take a shit on a girls chest and slide it around.
You know what would be funny? If they made a sports team called the Cleveland Steamers.
#that #would #make #a #good #sports #team
by TenInchPlaya August 21, 2006
A big, long, fresh steamy turd.
Use your imagination.
by Bob May 09, 2003
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