Choke the monkey

Take a massive crap. Seriously, the crap is so big that it could choke a monkey. And that monkey would be dead.

"Dude, I can't hang right now. I've gotta choke the monkey."

"Way to much information, man..."

by Sven-Detlev November 18, 2009

Choke the monkey

Vulgar masturbation

Hey! Did you choke the monkey last night? The new Mia Khalifa video was bomb!

by NigerChiger February 10, 2019

choke-the-monkey

Another term used to masturbate for a male (Choke the monkey)

Jacking off- Self pleasure until ejaculation or orgasim. The boy was so horny that he needed to choke-the-monkey.

by Ben Jolson May 19, 2008

choking your monkey

Middle school slang for masturbation that is used around teachers so they can't tell what is going on.

Person 1: Yo, Chris, you really need to stop *looks around the room* choking your monkey.
Teacher: Get back to your work or I'll put you in the time out corner!

by Pieman1123 June 12, 2018