UK: A chocolate teapot is an utterly useless item. Alternative terms also used are chocolate fireguard and chocolate kettle.
Refering to a useless or pointless item /deed /action /incapable person: "as much use as a chocolate teapot"
by Clansman April 22, 2009
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where one takes a shit, don't wipe, and then teabags yo gurl.
M: hey babe, can I make you a chocolate pot of tea
F: uh, babe, you mean a chocolate teapot?
M: oh yeah, that. let's do that. I'm glad you remembered for me. let us.
by MizzSrirowskiacha May 11, 2018
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UK: Insult used in the military when a recruit is either accident prone, clumsy, just plain slow or a combination of these.

Variations include:
Chocolate kettle
Chocolate fireguard.
PRIVATE you have left your safety catch of AGAIN...YOU ARE A SLOB, you are about as much use as a fekin' CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!, etc, etc....
by Blue Cawdrey November 22, 2004
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Bill: do you think my having my old things is useful?
Sam: Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Bill: umm ok?
by Biggest_Hamilton_Fan October 22, 2020
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